Someone else took my job!!!


It was a drill weekend and the guys I work with and I were talking about this and that, pretty much catching up on what was going on in each other’s lives. And one guy sort of complained about a promotion at his civilian job that he had been promised by the supervisor in that area. Not told he had a good chance but that he had the job. Well, he believed them and even though promised the job he still tries to make a good impression on the interview board and a few days later notified he did not get selected but no real explanation why he didn’t get the job he was promised and that caused him to feel bitter about it and bitter towards the person that promised him the job. We all talked about similar instances and how we had not gotten jobs that had been guaranteed by someone we trusted to be truthful and then we discussed the longer term impact as well as outcome in our lives because of that. I had similar things happen to me and I took my turn sharing the information.

I was working at a hospital in town in housekeeping that I had taken to try to get my foot in the door there as it was supposed to be much easier to get other jobs there if you were already an employee and after several months there was a job in the warehouse/supply room that paid a little better, but the hours were better with regular days and hours. I was pretty well acquainted with the supervisor for that area and spoke with him before applying. After talking with him and being told that he hoped that I would apply and that he looked forward to working with me and a few other things that made me believe that I had the job. I did the formal interview and everything he told me at that time left no doubt in my mind that I would be offered that position. Then, a week later when it came for time to be notified about the job I received a notice in the hospital mail system (this was before email) that I was not selected for the job. Oh, it was all said nicely, thanking me for my interest but that position had been filled. I was stunned given all I had been told. I soon learned that another employee in housekeeping was the one hired and he was a guy that I thought was a friend. But, I also found out that he knew I was applying for the same position (that I was unaware he had applied for also) and that he had gone out of his way to ingratiate himself to the department head over the warehouse and also next higher level manager over the supervisor who was supposed to be hiring for the position. In addition he had made more than a few derogatory statements about me to his “friend” and that friend he had made had told the supervisor who he was to hire. I felt like I had been stabbed in the back and lied to about the job and was disappointed. Money was tight back then and the small raise would have been helpful.

Very soon after he started the job, the guy that was hired started complaining to those he had worked with previously in house keeping that they didn’t leave him on days, it was only for training that he had been on day shift and he complained about a lot of other things that he found out were not as either of us had led to believe about the job. The friend that he had made that helped him get the job then started creating issues for him because the guy had lied on his application about his prior work experiences and was not a good employee. Others in the supply room soon found that he was not a good co-worker as he often left tasks uncompleted and was an unpleasant individual with whom to work. So, not only was the job no where near as great as I thought it would be, the one that was hired instead of me found out that the lies he put on his application and others he told about me to cause others to have a less favorable opinion of me to help himself seem a better applicant only got him a job he did not like. In the long run, not only did my prior coworker regret doing the things he did to get the job, the people in the department found out they had made a mistake in hiring him.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. Galatians 6:7

A faithful man shall abound with blessings: but he that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent.  Proverbs 28:20

Then a couple months later a much better job was posted that while the hours were not as desirable the job would give me a lot of experience with reading EKG’s and an opportunity to learn a lot that would help me in the future plus it paid much better than the job in the supply room. I applied for that job and was hired for the position and in hindsight it became obvious that God was in control and was putting me in the job I needed to have to benefit me in the long term.

But if we hope for that we see not, [then] do we with patience wait for [it].     Romans 8:25

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Philippians 4:6

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

Better [is] the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: [and] the patient in spirit [is] better than the proud in spirit.  Ecclesiastes 7:8

I shared about a couple other times that times I applied for jobs and was not hired, then learned in later that they were not as great as I thought they would be and so, despite my thoughts that a job would be a good thing, it was much better that I did not get any of those jobs and better opportunities came along. I just needed to be more patient and trust God to know better than I about such things. I also shared about times I pushed to get jobs that very quickly I regretted getting hired as they were not as great as I thought but I stuck with them until something else came along that was better.

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Psalms 37:4

I found that when I let God have the control things worked out better for me and despite the disappointments of not being hired for some of the jobs, things worked out better when I trusted Him than when I trusted myself and my own judgement. God is so much smarter than me! I also see in hind sight that those times I did not get the job because of bad decisions or, well, backstabbing by someone else, not only did the people that hired someone else instead of me regret their decisions, but those who did me wrong to get the jobs also regretted getting those positions as they were no where near as great as we had thought and that at times, the supervisors for whom they ended up working were not very good people to work for and not the people they had thought. More than once jobs I applied for and did not get would have not been beneficial in the long run and God was in control, even though I didn’t realize it at the time, He was preparing me and preparing the way for me to get a much better job.

 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.   Romans 8:28

The same thing applies to other aspects of my life as well, when I forced my will on a situation it did not go well, but when I let go and let God have control He rewarded  me and put me in much better circumstances. He is so much wiser than I and I should have been trusting Him more all along.


Lord, I worship You and thank You for all the blessings in my life and for the situations that did not seem to be a blessing at first, but only because I could not see the big picture and despite my limited sight, You took care of me and prepared the way before me. I than You for the sacrifice of Your son Christ and the salvation I have thank to His suffering and pain. I pray in the name of Jesus that I better allow You the control You should have and that I better trust You to know what is best for me and not trust my own limited judgement. I pray that You should my loved ones how to trust You and not be so quick to push for something that may not be the best for them and if they find themselves in such positions they turn things over to You. I pray You draw us all closer to You and help us all be better servants for You.


Thanks for your time. I hope all have a blessed day and that you take time to be a blessing to someone else.




I ate what?????




The other day at work the conversation turned to unusual foods and I was asked what the most unusual food I had ever eaten. Over the course of my military career and life in general I found myself in many countries, more often than not working closely with the locals in those countries. Most of the time we would eat what we were served and eventually they would serve some sort of specialty food they consider delicacies. I have been “fortunate” enough to eat many different things and I told them I wasn’t sure what would be the worst as I have had sea horse soup, thousand year old eggs, cat, dog, guinea pig, snakes, iguana, turtle, among other things as well as so many different fruits and vegetables that I couldn’t remember them all. There were more questions about all those different foods and were any gross was among them. Well, to be honest, some of those foods were not things I would go out of my way to eat, but none were really vile tasting or disgusting. But, as we talked, I remembered one instance when we were eating guinea pig we were being served in Ecuador. One of the others had eaten a couple of them as, well, he loved to eat, and was enjoying his meal and then asked what it was exactly. Now, he didn’t speak Spanish so I was translating. I asked the locals and they said it was conejillo which is similar to the word for rabbit, conejo. As I spoke with the locals I tried to clarify and found out that it was definitely not young rabbit and when I couldn’t fully understand what they meant by conejillo, they went into the kitchen and brought back a live guinea pig and said, “Eso es comiendo.”  “this is what you are eating.” As soon as the other guy realized what he had been eating, he suddenly became nauseated and headed to the bathroom. Apparently he had a pet guinea pig when he was young and it didn’t sit well knowing that is what he had eaten.

I hadn’t thought about that for years but as we were discussing it I thought about the times that things that seemed good suddenly were not as wonderful when one found out the truth about it. Sometimes that can apply to food but it can apply to other things as well: jobs, cars, houses, people, almost anything really. But, many times something seems great at first, you almost can’t believe how good it is and then, you find out what it really is, despite all the seasoning and presentation, what it truly is you realize is no where near what you thought. What seemed fantastic is far from that. Rather than being something marvelous, it is something that you find, not only is it not what you thought, but the opposite. All because deep down inside, what it is made from is something that is not only not good, but the complete opposite.

How does one reconcile the facts with the perception? Does one adapt the thought that it was always like it seems now, and for some reason what was thought to be delicious was really not palatable at all? Is knowledge about something what makes it better or worse? Applying that to one’s spiritual life, I know there are things that in the past I thought were marvelous and now, not only do I not find those things appealing, I find myself puzzled that I could ever think such things were anything worth the effort, when looking back on what I “enjoyed” I realize that now, God has changed my thoughts about a lot of things. Some is because I think differently about things because of how He has worked in my life and changed my tastes? Yes, I do believe He has done that and more. Is it that, combined with the fact He has shown me some truths that I was not willing or able to face in the past? Probably yes. Perhaps He is helping me be better able to discern what is true from what I thought to be true but is not; showing me the difference between my perception of truth and what IS TRUE!

4 For every creature of God [is] good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving:
5 For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.

1 Timothy 4:4-5

So, things may be okay to eat, but not necessarily taste good or even seem appetizing, regarding actual food, so the concept of what is good is within the person. But, sometimes, because of how food is prepared and presented, it can look more appetizing, or very much the opposite. Yet, the foods that look less appetizing can actually taste better.

But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for [the LORD seeth] not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.              1 Samuel 16:7

Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity. Matthew 23:28

But, with things that seem good based on outward appearances, without knowledge of the truth of that thing, person, etc we may mistakenly take part, then realize either it is far from good and nothing near what it looked to be initially. With that thought, it is obvious He wants us to be better informed, educated, wise about things.

Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.       1 Timothy 2:4

Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.     Colossians 2:8

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. James 1:5

Yes, He will give us knowledge and wisdom; He will show us the truth. We must seek the truth, ask for wisdom and knowledge of things before we partake, only then will we avoid that which is not good. Delaying getting involved in a situation that until after we earnestly seek God, and seek the knowledge and understanding He provides will ensure that we do not find ourselves sickened by what we find to be the truth. Just as had my friend inquired and learned the truth about what he was eating would have helped him avoid being sickened by finding out after he had consumed it.


Lord, I praise You and worship Your Holy Name. I thank You for using my life experiences to teach me better ways to think and live. That You show me that what once seemed to be wonderful is not always so. I pray in the name of Jesus that You show us all the truths about various situations and give us the wisdom and desire to seek You before we partake. That You help us realize that not all that looks good is good and that what can seem good at first is often something that will cause us some sort of suffering in the long run. I pray that You draw me and loved ones closer to You, teach us all Your love for one another and that You show us, should we be in a situation that we suddenly find sickens us because it is not of You, how we can remove ourselves from that and help us avoid those things in the future.



Well, thank you all again for your time. I hope my rambling makes sense and is of some sort of blessing to someone. Please try to be a blessing to another as you go about your days.


What to do, what to do?

fork in road


I am facing a decision, a fork in the road, trying to decide which road to take. As I consider options for the future I vacillate between a variety of choices. There are many options for us all, regardless of current circumstances and there are many choices to be made. I am faced with making decisions that will impact my life in many ways and some options will be dramatic changes in my life now and in the future. I make mental lists of pros and cons for each choice as I try to weigh the options, what are the advantages and disadvantages of each. While doing so I find that one choice has definite benefits over the other possibilities and, of course, as I think about things more I see yet another choice would be better for me. And, it goes on and on like that, one pays more, but would be a huge change, one offers stability if you will as it does not require sacrifice or change. The more I think one option is the right one and start to get more certain, the less certain I am about it and the more doubt starts to pop into my mind.

Basically, the more I think rather than being more certain, I become more uncertain. Obviously, I need wisdom beyond what I possess. VERY obviously, I need some guidance from God on this so I believe it is time to look to the scripture first, then pray on things after that so I know the path He has planned for me and wants me to take.


5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6


If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. James 1:5


For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11


14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
15 And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.

1 John 5:14-15


Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10


6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7


12 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.
13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
14 If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.

John 14:12-14




Well, lots there telling me that He will help me, if I seek Him and listen to Him. So, time to pray a bit and give all the circumstances to God so that He can show me His will and way.


Heavenly Father,  thank You for your words to show me that more important than the decision I make, is the way in which I make it and that in order to make the right decision, the decision that You wish me to make I must first seek You and when I do, You will show me the way. I pray in Jesus name that You show me the heart and mind of Christ that I will be able to hear You and know Your will and way for me. That I have no doubt about the decision I make and that while making the decision I put myself aside and look and listen to You while weighing my options. Give me Your wisdom as I make my decisions and help me be humble before You, not trying to push my will into the decision but look to You for that. I ask that You help my loved ones know that the decision is from You and that Your hand is guiding me. Draw us all closer to You and show us all Your will and Your plans for us. Give us all the wisdom to listen to You and understand what You are telling us. I thank You Lord for my forgiveness and salvation through your son Jesus who died on the cross to redeem my sins. Help me be a blessing to others that Your glory is shown through me.



Thanks to all for your time. I ask that you pray for me, that He work in my heart so I know His plans. I hope all have a blessed day and have a chance to be a blessing to someone else as well.


The Offer…ish. Praying to know His will.



Good morning all. Well, a little follow up about the job I have previously mentioned for those interested. I received a text yesterday asking me to give them a call and when I did I was informed that I should expect a formal offer by the end of the week. I was both elated and terrified when I was told. If the offer is right and I accept, it will be a dramatic change in my life. I am somewhat uncertain. I have given it all to God and asked that He lead my way. I don’t yet know what they will offer in regards to pay and benefits and have a figure in mind that if they offer that or more, will consider it a sign from Him.

While I have faith in God, that He will work things out, I also have concerns that I may be trying too hard and trying to put my wishes before His will. I will be spending a lot of time praying about this and ask that all pray for the situation that there be no doubt and that I know it is God working things out for His plans for me. I have too often tried to make things be the way I want and not how Christ would have me do in my life. I am struggling to NOT do so anymore.


31 But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.
32 Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

Luke 12:31-32


It is my wish to seek Him first, seek to follow Him and live so that it will glorify Christ.

5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6


Maybe He is trying to teach me more faith, more trust. I pray I have the discernment to know it is from Him and the faith to follow Christ as He guides me.


If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. James 1:5


I am praying for wisdom that I know His will and that I have the faith to follow.


Lord, Praise You for all Your glory. I thank You for the blessings and my salvation. I praise Jesus for the sacrifice He made for me with His death on the cross. I pray in Jesus name that I know Your will and plans, that You give me the wisdom to understand and that I not put my way before Yours. That You give me the faith to follow Your wishes for me. I ask that You draw us all closer to You and that we all come to know Christ as our savior.



Thanks for the visit, your time and your prayers. I hope He blesses you all today and that each is able to be a blessing to others.

The Fugitive!


I was flipping channels and one movie on was the fugitive. If anyone doesn’t know about it, started out years ago as a TV series and then made into a movie years later. A man is blamed for the death of his wife and due to circumstantial evidence was convicted. He said he was innocent, talked about a one armed man that was the real killer but no one believed him. He had no evidence other than the statements he made. Yet, the prosecutor twisted anything he had said to use against him as proof of his guilt. Rather than look for the real killer. The fugitive escaped and tried and tried to proof his innocence, but every turn and every attempt made him look more guilty. In the movie, the character eventually gets the evidence he needs to proof he is innocent. I don’t recall if that happened in the series or not. My dad watched it a lot but I don’t really remember the final outcome on that, hardly remember any details about the series. But, bottom line, an innocent man was accused and convicted. No one listened to him and the more he protested, the more others insisted he was guilty.

Now, I have done things for which I should be blamed, and at times, been blamed for things I did not do. As a child, I was blamed for things a sibling did; get cookies without permission, leave a door open, not put the cap back on the toothpaste, leave the milk out on the counter, break a window or something else, used the car and not filled the gas tank before coming home, the list could go on and on. Of course, there were likely times my brother was blamed for things I did. Now, there were times I was guilty, but times I was innocent. Blamed by an irritated parent or a sibling that did not want to take the punishment for their actions or example. Other times, because someone wanted someone to blame so they chose me to blame. No proof other than someone’s suspicion.

Well, sometimes, there really isn’t proof of one’s innocence. Attempting to prove would create far more issues than just stating the facts and letting things go, such as trying to argue, because, like I have heard, the guilty cry foul the loudest and the innocent let the evidence exonerate them. Yet, others, just have to blame someone. If I tried to explain, I got accusations or past events thrown in my face and possibly into an argument where no one wins. So, I just try to stop responding to the accusations and finger pointing. Sometimes, it is not easy, swallowing one’s pride, letting others have whatever opinions they choose and at times, suffering the punishment for something done by someone other than me. As a child, that usually meant a spanking or getting grounded. When spanked, if the real truth came out, then I would hear, “well, you have done other things you didn’t get punished for so this makes it more even.” That logic is flawed, but will not get into that issue. Bottom line, sometimes one is blamed and punished for things they did not do. BUT, what about the accuser? Do they get punished for their actions? Sometimes as a child, when the truth came out, then yes, they often did, but not always. Well, other than the guilt they may or may not have felt for their wrong actions.

How does one respond to false allegations? Especially those that can’t be disproven as there can be no evidence of something not done and other than trying to use alibis or other defensive measures, that just look like one is trying too hard so the  result is that it makes one look more likely to be guilty. So, protesting is of no benefit.

But, what is the motivation for the allegations anyway? Is someone trying to not face punishment or scrutiny of their behavior themselves? Such as when a sibling was wrong but didn’t want to be punished, maybe someone feels guilt about one or another things and it helps them to find fault with another by blaming them for something, sort of a I am not so bad if someone else did such and such,  or when someone just wants someone to blame because they feel the need for someone to be blamed. Well, that is a question I can’t answer to regarding the motivation. People do what they do. I can’t understand the hearts and minds of others. Truthfully, I often have trouble understanding what my motivation was behind things I have done. I do things, then ask, now, why would I have done that? Trying to figure out what was in my mind at the time. Sometimes I remember, sometimes I can’t understand at all why I did this or that. But, one never really knows what is in the heart of other.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.

Jeremiah 17:9-10


A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. Luke 6:45

Now, one can’t know if another’s heart is good or evil. Nor can they understand others. I personally struggle, like I said, to understand myself.

Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye. Luke 6:42

Making accusations is another way of judging others, trying to find fault, sometime trying to find guilt where it did not exist. I caused myself to suffer needlessly as I looked and looked for a tiny speck in their eyes when I had much larger objects in mine.  I stand on His word and know that He tells me I am responsible for myself and try to make myself right and not cast aspersions on others. Deal with my own issues, rather than try to fix those of others. My issues, my guilt, are mine to try to correct, if others have their own issues and guilt, they need to look to themselves and God. Not blame others if they look into their actions and find fault.

For myself (as I am only able to make changes in myself and not in others,) I will continue to try to lean on God for help in the valleys and rough roads. I will continue to strive not to do wrong, but knowing I am human, I know there will be times I don’t do what God wants me to do. I have had to deal with plenty of both my faults and poor actions as well as those of others, we all have had to do so. I just pray for me and for myself and others that we find forgiveness for one another and let the other deal with any and all of their own issues.

A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. Ezekial 36:26

I will continue to pray for myself and others that we all be given new hearts and that we let any real or perceived misdeeds be forgiven as He commands. I have already forgiven all those that have wronged me in anyway whether small slights or a serious way, and hopefully, any and all I have wronged will give me the same forgiveness. But if they don’t, that will between them and God.

But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:15

I will strive, and as I have said many times before, at times I will stumble and fail, to put my faith in God, to trust He will be with me in good times and bad, and to do as Christ would wish me to do. And that I need to stop trying to understand everything, just let Christ understand for me. If He chooses to show me, then He will, if He doesn’t then I will trust that God doesn’t need me to know all.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:5


Lord, I praise your Holy Name. I ask that you help me seek the Saviour more than the saving. I pray you continue to work in my life, give me understanding and guidance as I try to improve and follow your guidance. That you work in my heart that I might only be blessing to others and that I am not the cause of another’s hurt. I ask you help me deal with hurt I have and that you help others deal with their hurting as well. I ask that you work in the hearts and minds of loved ones to draw them to you and your way for them. Thank you Jesus for my salvation, forgiveness, blessings and mercies you gave and continue to give me.



Thanks to all for letting me share questions, concerns, issues in my life. I hope that there is someone out there that has had similar issues and finds some comfort in my words. I will continue to look to Him for help as I learn to improve my walk with Christ.





New Day


It’s a new day! Praise God for new days, they give me a chance to start over, try to not make the same mistakes I have made before, and there have been plenty of mistakes. I have begun starting each day with a prayer. Praise Him and thank Christ for my blessings and to ask that He help me be who Jesus wants, not who I was before. I still stumble, sadly that is part of human existence. But, I stumble less often, and less badly than before, so He is working in me. I also ask that He help me be a blessing to someone. Sometimes, I have the opposite effect, so definitely need more help with that as well. I wish I were perfect and didn’t say things that caused hard feelings at times, but I’m not perfect so I fail Him, others and myself. SO….NEW DAY, NEW CHANCE. Gonna believe in Christ and seek His help.

In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them. But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all. Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Collosians 3:7-13


Lord, I praise you and worship you, I ask that you continue to work in my heart that I not say or do things to cause hurt or suffering. I ask you to soften my heart and words. That you give me forgiveness and that you help others forgive me. I ask that you put kindness and forgiveness in my heart, a more gentle spirit, and that you help me be who You want me to be.



The maze.



Sometimes, I start to think about things and sometimes, I get lost in my thoughts, one thought leads to another, I take one turn, then another. Finding with each turn, with each thought I get more and more confused. Anyone ever try to navigate their way through a maze? After what seems to be an easy thing to complete, we lose our perspective, we lose our way and get trapped in the maze. We get further and further trapped, by our thoughts, words or actions in life too. SO, how can one find their way out? Especially when we have gotten so lost that even if we had a map, we aren’t even sure where we are, and a map is only helpful if we know where we are at that moment. You can’t decide which turn is correct when you can’t see your true location.

Thankfully, Jesus can help shed light on my location, on my way ahead, on how I can extract myself from this maze.

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.        John 14:6

Such a simple solution, yet I often stubbornly, foolishly fight with myself, trying to decide if I should turn from my current path and go to the right or left. Am I on the right path? Can I even get to the right path from here? Well, when I try to use my wisdom to find my way out of whatever maze I am in at the time, I often get more lost. Sometimes, RARELY, do I find my way out and that is just by happenstance. Christ doesn’t work by happenstance and if I manage to get out of a situation without Him, I usually (meaning almost always) find myself out of one predicament and in another one. Seems to me I need to seek His guidance sooner. Many times, more than I can count, I have found that to be true, and many times, I blunder on in my own stupidity. Then, finally, I seek the truth, the map, the guidance from God and after being delivered from that particular situation wonder why I didn’t just talk to God at the start before I got there. Sometimes I do, but impatient, not wanting to wait for His answer. Well, if I had the patience and waited for the answer I’d surely have a much simpler life. But, I try and use human logic and reason, which is very flawed, and…yup, right in the worst of the maze.

Consider what I say; and the Lord give thee understanding in all things. 2 Timothy 2:7

Yes, so often I make the confusion worse, taking this or that wrong turn, without getting His guidance on which path to take. Well, I used to do that. Now, I am getting lots better about listening for Him, waiting for his presence and gentle hand, nudging me in the direction He wants for me to go.

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Yes, I wait on Him to show me. Sometimes, that waiting is not easy, I continue to struggle with my lack of patience, asking Christ to help me with that. One day, I will be way better at it. Getting better by the day thanks to all the help from Jesus.

Lord, help give me understanding, give me the guidance you would have me to have and use. I need patience too, lots of it. Jesus, I pray you reach to the hearts of loved ones, show them the way you have for them as well. Help them see that sometimes, a little more patience is needed. I praise you for all your mercies and grace.


Once again, thanks to all who makes it this far. Please, share if you feel He moves you to do so. Have a blessed day, and do your best to be a blessing to someone else.

Hello God, it’s me. Am I listening?




Sometimes, when I pray, I ask God for things. I have needs and wants. Some are for me, so rather selfish, some are for others so less so, but a lot of times, it is so I can have guidance in my life. I am, shall we say, going through a rough patch in life with various circumstances. A lot of indecision personally about which direction I should take. I am facing issues both personally and professionally that I do not feel are in my best interest,  like most all do at one point or another. I have opportunities in other places, some opportunities I had, but lost, but others have opened, there will be other options in the future. I try to decide in my feeble mind, what would He have me do. Sometimes, sadly, I don’t think enough about what is God’s plan for me and just try to decide for myself. Make a list of pros and cons, weigh the options one against the other and try to make a decision. Yet, I continue to be undecided. THEN, I decide it’s time to talk with God, pray about things. Look for some guidance from Him.

AND…….I wait to hear Him. Sometimes, I feel His presence and guidance, clarity of thought and mind. I see a very clear path that I believe is Christ showing me the way. Then, later, I get uncertain if, as I proceed that way and there are difficulties did I listen to Jesus? Now, I know life isn’t easy. Jesus makes the hard things easier, or bearable at any rate, but when I try to take the route in life I feel is from Him and things don’t go smoothly, I start to wonder, is it because I heard wrong, or because the enemy is trying to keep me from God’s plan in my life.  Then, of course, once that thought enters my mind, I start to feel some doubt as to which path is the path Jesus wishes me to take. I start getting nervous, uneasy, however you wish to state it, and sometimes, take a few steps back to try to re-evaluate the situation and choices. Still, after all that, I usually feel certain, yes, it is what Christ wants for me. THEN….more indecision and questions in my mind later. UGGGH, sometimes, it seems it would be so much easier if HE would just pick me up and put me in the place, job, etc that Christ wants. Yet, He wants us to seek Him, seek His presence, His heart so, I seek Him, wondering whether or not to just stay put for now, and wait. But, I always heard that the Lord helps those that help themselves, so obviously He wants me to be an active participant. Which way, which path, which is the best for me and more importantly, which is the path that is HIS plan for me.

SO, I wonder, GOD, am I listening?

So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, [and] apply thine heart to understanding; Proverbs 2:2

I try to hear Him, I really do try to understand. Sometimes, it seems He speaks quietly or, is it me not seeking Christ that causes the faint understanding of His will and plan?

Whence then cometh wisdom? and where is the place of understanding? Job 28:20

That is what I seek, wisdom and understanding. Sometimes, I feel like Job, suffering this or that situation, not all the suffering of Job, but sure seems like it sometimes. Yet, despite all his hardships, Job had faith in God and continued to be a good man. I try to do that, sometimes I stumble, but I try to do right and remain faithful.

God understandeth the way thereof, and he knoweth the place thereof. Job 28:23

Yes, God does know and understand all, the path I should take, I just need to figure how to hear when He speaks to me and follow what Jesus is telling me.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Yup, I need to trust Him. Trust the guidance Christ gave me. Try to do His will in my life. Even more importantly, I need to just seek HIM! I have shown to myself that I haven’t always trusted Him with all my heart in various circumstances, trying instead to get my own wishes and not His wish for me. I believe I am doing better, and, yet again there are occasions that I stumble. Not as many as there were before, honestly not nearly as many as before, but they still occur. I still need to work on trusting Him and not myself.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33

Why do I quote this so much? I know I have used it many times. Well, I think, other than words and promises for salvation He gives us that this is really a key thing I have to remember. KEEP MY PRIORITIES STRAIGHT! Seek HIM, SEEK Christ! The understanding and the hearing God will come. I just have to talk to Him more, open my heart and mind to Jesus so that I do understand and see His way for me. To receive His blessings for me, I must seek Christ.

Lord, I praise you and thank you for all that you are, the beginning, the end, the Creator of all. I thank you for the forgiveness you gave me and the mercies you show. I ask that you continue to help me keep my priorities in order, that you help me seek you first. I ask that with the current circumstances I am facing that you give me the understanding of your way in my life and your plan for me. I ask you talk to my heart so that I have peace with where you lead me. That I not interfere with your will in my life. Jesus, I ask you to work in the hearts of loved ones that they see and hear you as well, that they follow you and seek you first, then follow as you lead them. That you use me to show others your will and your way as I go about my day to day life and that you make me a better example of you in my life. Help me be better at seeking you first, trusting you, and following you. God, help me to hear you better and to remember to look to you for all.


Once more, I thank everyone for bearing with me as I ask myself questions, as I look to the scripture to find the instruction He gives. I just hope that I am able to incorporate all the wisdom He shows me into my life. I hope this blog reaches that one that may benefit from it as well.

Please, feel free to share this site with others if you feel it would help someone.

Have a blessed day.

Melted marbles

melted marbles


I have mentioned my Pop a few times, or a lot, he was a smart guy. At times, I forgot that. He wasn’t highly educated, but education and intelligence are not the same. So many educated people aren’t very smart. They know a lot, but don’t have the ability to think and see things well at times. Now, sometimes that is me too, educated, but not smart, other times, thanks to people like Pop, my grandmother, my parents, aunts, uncles and such, I am, at least in my own mind, pretty smart. They passed on to me a lot of wisdom and intelligence. But, despite not being educated, Pop was extremely intelligent. He could see things in his mind, some contraption or something that would be useful. He would do what some call upcycling, taking junk and building something useful out of it. That last part is something I will need to use for another lesson to myself, another day but, yet again, I digress. Back to the marbles.

Well, my grandparents had a small farmette one would call it these days, with a few outbuildings, sheds, shop, and the like. Well, one day I got there and where one had been the day before was a smoldering pile of debris. He was looking outside, looking at it. Apparently it had caught fire during the night for whatever reason; perhaps a short in the wiring, maybe some old gasoline soaked rags spontaneously burst into flame, a spark from the woodstove, hard to say. But, burn it did. The remnants, were as I said, smoldering, but most of the things had cooled. He used a rake to poke around at the ashes and debris, seeing if there was anything he could salvage. He dragged out a gob of stuff. Gob is the best word to describe it, whatever it was it was covered in soot and ash, unrecognizable to me. He said “well, that might be kinda nice, we will see when it is cooled off a little more.” He finished for the time, then we went off to do other things. Later that day we went back to the gob. He tested it to see if it was hot, no, it had cooled enough to handle and then, took it to the water trough and washed it off a little. Still looked like a black mess to me. Then, to the shop, grabbed a hammer, and kind of tapped on it a bit. Bits of the outer covering came off. After some of this, he showed it to me. Now, I couldn’t tell what it had been, but it was big piece of multicolored glass about the size of a quart jar and had some lumps and bumps in it. But, still, it was pretty. He showed it to me and asked what I thought. I said it was neat. He asked if I knew what it was as he held it up and let the sun shine through it. Now, the sunlight coming through gave it an even more interesting appearance and as the sunlight refracted through the mass it cast beams of light in every direction. I was fascinated.  He asked if I knew what it was and of course, I had no clue. He said, “remember your jar of marbles? This is them. The fire melted them together, made something beautiful out of them.” And, it was very beautiful. I wish I still had it, but it was lost over the years and probably long destroyed or in the landfill someplace.

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: 1 Peter 1:7

Now, this is where the real smarts came in. I was impressed at the time he knew what it was, how to get the outer shell of glass off and show the real beauty of the object. But, that wasn’t really smart lesson for me. The lesson, like so many of my youth, that was lost to me at the time. He started talking about how sometimes God uses fire to change us, to make us something more beautiful, to make us different for him. Sometimes he uses fire to make things stronger or to test things because if they can stand the fires of life, they are strong.

And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It [is] my people: and they shall say, The LORD [is] my God. Zechariah 13:9

Well, being young, I just thought, ok, but lemme have my marbles, I am gonna go show everyone. And, off I go. Here, many years later, after dealing with other fires, the firestorms of life that all have at times. Reflecting on life lessons, scriptures that relate to them and what I can, and should have learned, long ago. Yes, sometimes I am tested. I need testing, daily. I need refined. I need to be put into His furnace to burn away the impurities. And, at this time, Yes, I am forgiven, but I sure have a lot of work that needs done.


Lord, I praise you and thank you for all the grace and mercy. I thank you for those who taught me lessons that I did not understand at the time, they stayed with me and in your wisdom, you show me and give me understanding when I am ready for it. I thank you for your salvation and forgiveness. Jesus, I pray that you will continue to work on me, purify me with the fire of your Holy Spirit. I pray that you work in the lives of loved ones that you purify them as well. Show them your way to the truth, the light, to you Jesus.


Thanks to those who are able to bear with me through these writings. I hope that you all have all the blessings Christ has planned for you.