Conversation anyone?

convo

 

“Why don’t you want to talk?” I was recently asked. And at the time there were a lot of things I wanted to say but didn’t as I knew if I spoke my mind it wouldn’t be helpful to anyone in the long term. Oh, I could have said a lot and in the past I most likely would have and not necessarily in a kind manner. I sometimes don’t talk because I haven’t much to say and other times because I have to much to say and would likely not say them well or in a manner that would glorify or please God. So, often I write. While I do so there are times as I wonder if anything I write helps anyone else. I started this blog while going through a difficult time and I have always found that writing helps me organize my thoughts better and as I started studying the Scripture after too many years of avoiding it But I wanted my thoughts better organized. I wrote to help myself better process Scripture and to try and better understand with my own life experiences. Sometimes realizing the lessons I should have learned in the past that I am only now learning.

Yet, I also write with the hope that God uses my thoughts, lessons He teaches me, guidance He gives and inspiration from Christ to be a better Christian and thereby a better person to possibly help and bless someone else. I know He has blessed me in the process and it’s my ferverent hope that something I have written helped another.

SO, I would invite anyone that wishes to do so, to please contact me here. If you have questions, I will try to help you find (not give) the answers as I am barely able to find all the answers I need.  But, I would be happy to help others find what they need from God as best I am able.

 

Lord, I worship You and give You the glory for any good this blog may have done for others. I pray in the name of Jesus that You give me the thoughts and wisdom to write something beneficial to others and not just me. I ask that you move anyone that feels the need to talk to contact me so I may help them know You and Your love, mercy and forgiveness. I ask that you use me for Your good and that I am able to put self aside and see only what You what have me see and say. Please draw loved ones and others to You also that we may all know the blessings and forgiveness available thanks to the sacrifice Christ made in the cross.

Amen

 

Thank you readers. I appreciate your time and hope that somehow He uses me to bless someone and that all of you find a blessing during your day. Please be a blessing to someone else today.

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The Ex is back.

 

I posted a few months ago about a soldier in my Guard unit that was having issues with her ex-boyfriend harassing her. I asked her at the last drill a couple weeks ago how things were going for her and if things had settled down so she wasn’t being bothered by him anymore. Well between blocking him in email, social media and her phone as well as sending notice through a lawyer  that if it didn’t stop she would pursue a restraining order and possibly other legal actions he had stopped bothering her. The only thing she had heard was an email, apparently he used a different email address and told her he had gotten married about a month before and did not want her to bother him any longer. Except, she had not bothered him, ever, other than to ask him to stop contacting her when he had tried to email, text and call. She assumed that after the last email it would had stopped. But, sometimes unexpected things happen, or things we hoped would not happen, do. Yesterday I got an email from her, apologizing for bothering me, and asking for advise. She said that a few days before he received an email from him and he talked about missing her and told her he still cared. She said she did not understand why he would do that if he was married. But, she did not reply and then, 2 days later she gets another email from the same address which was a bit, well from what she described, not hateful, but not pleasant with comments about how she should have the decency to reply. She told me she replied that time and said that her feelings had not changed and that she had reasons for breaking up with him and she was glad she did so. He answered saying he was changed, he could control his temper and he was sorry for some of the things he said when he was upset. She answered and said that it was good and that since he was married he should focus on his wife and not someone else. Back and forth with the emails a few times, she said he was fine in them once she answered and that it was kind of like an exchange between friends. He started sharing issues he has with his wife, criticisms of her, and also made comments about missing her again. She decided then that she was not wanting to continue any discussion because of how the conversation was going and told him that, wished him luck and said good bye.

Apparently, that set him off and he got more hateful in his emails and she received a couple more but did not reply and then, blocked that address as well. When she did that, he started posting excerpts from her emails on social media, but she said they weren’t exactly what she had written and that it seemed that someone had edited them somehow. Making it seem as if she was bitter that they broke up and was trying to somehow get back together with him and that he made comments that were very unkind and hateful. Well, they have mutual friends and she said that what he posted wasn’t what she actually wrote and that the things he was saying were not true. His wife and some of her friends had commented about her contacting him knowing he was “happily married.” And that it frustrated her that he is apparently telling people that she emailed him and not that she replied to one of several emails he sent her.  She asked me what should she do and said what he really feels like doing is just slamming him the way he is trying to do to her and then making comments about why does this “happily married man” keep emailing her when she had asked him not to do so?

Okay, that is very obviously not a comfortable or pleasant situation for her. I asked, knowing the answer, if any of what he wrote was true. No, she said it was lies, some of it half truths, but most of it blatant lies. I asked if she thought her friends that may see it believed it and thought poorly of her from it. “No, they have all said they know he is trying to make me look like the bad guy and that I didn’t do that stuff.” I suggested that if her friends did not believe it, perhaps ignoring it was the best thing as obviously this guy was trying to somehow get her drawn into a public argument if you will, so he could try to shame her and put himself in a position that he looked like a victim and so he could try to ridicule her. Basically telling her that if she doesn’t contribute to that discussion, it will fizzle out and stop. Besides that, I mentioned that if she allowed herself to be drawn into some sort of debate or argument; she would end up getting angry and frustrated from all that and that adding to any drama or hostility would cause it to escalate further. I also suggested that she pray about it, and pray for him. Obviously this man has some issues in life and his marriage, or he would not feel the need to bother my friend and distract himself from his marriage. And, he obviously needs God in his life and to get treatment for his issues. I did tell her it was not easy to pray for someone that was doing her wrong, for an enemy basically, but that it was what was needed. He needed God and she needed to pray for him to help herself let go of the anger and frustration he was causing her to feel and instead, realize she should feel sorry for him, pity him and his unhappiness in life and pray that God work in his heart. I also said that she really should pray for his wife because obviously that young lady is not in a good situation, he is being emotionally unfaithful if he keeps contacting her. Between the guy’s issues that caused my friend to break up with him and the fact that he keeps trying to contact my friend he is obviously not truly invested in his marriage such that his wife will likely be facing some difficult times and possibly hard decisions in the near future.

Through the emails discussing all these things she told me a few other things and that she understood about praying for him and his issues as well as praying he would stop bothering her and said she would try that. Of course, I did mention that if it starts again she may need to visit with her lawyer again to discuss other options. She said she understood.  I told her I would pray for her, and the others involved, as they all need God to work on things for them and give them the peace of God.

I really feel badly for all those involved, obviously more so for my friend because, well human nature is such that we tend to worry more for family and friends. But, I do feel bad about how he is treating her, and whether his wife knows it or not, he is apparently being emotionally unfaithful and expending a lot of emotional energy worrying more about my friend than his spouse. I also feel bad for him as he apparently has issues and is creating hardships and difficult situations for both my friend and his wife. Through what she told me I don’t really understand what the motivation is for his actions. Whether he is trying to make my friend look bad and himself good, if he is trying to get my friend to reconsider the relationship with him or if he has some other agenda. But, he is obviously troubled somehow.

 

Blessed [are] the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. Matthew 5:9

Obviously, this situation is creating some turmoil for my friend and she has a choice, contribute to the turmoil or try to be the peacemaker through prayer and allowing God to work. Praying for such can be difficult when the other person is trying to create tension. But, in times such as these, one needs to put aside the human emotion and pray for peace.

 

43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

Matthew 5:43-45

 

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but [rather] give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance [is] mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.  Roman 12:19

 

It isn’t easy to pray for one’s enemies, for ones that do a person wrong, but when people behave that way it is obvious that the one attacking someone as is being done has issues and needs the Lord. It will also help her if she allows God to work in her situation and not allow herself to be dragged down to the her ex-boyfriend’s level. She needs to take the “moral high ground” the path that Christ would take and pray for this person, more for her own benefit than anyone else’s.

 

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.  Romans 12:2

 

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.  1 John 1:7

 

This young lady, and all of us, have all had situations where another person has treated us poorly, attacked us, directly or indirectly, and done us wrong. We need to not think with the human mind or feel with the human heart, but instead think and feel towards those mistreating us as Christ would feel towards others; feel concern, worry, pity and love. Pray for them and through that, come closer to that which Jesus wants us to become.

 

Lord, I praise You and thank You for the opportunity to help this friend of mine. I thank You for helping me find the right things to say and I pray that You give me wisdom when asked for advise, not just now, but in other situations as well. I ask in the name of Jesus that You help this girl, help her avoid getting into some type of exchange or argument with this guy and others because of his behavior. I pray that You give her peace and that she is no longer harassed by this man. I pray for this man as he obviously needs You in His life that You work in His heart that He stop this behavior and allow this girl to live her life in peace. I pray for this man’s wife as she obviously is in a situation and marriage where he is not fully dedicated to her, because if he was, he would not be trying to re-establish his relationship with my friend.

God, I know that there are many people in situations that are not what they expected or were promised. There others that are dealing with difficult relationships, jobs, lack of jobs, financial difficulties, family problems, disease, loss of loved ones and more problems and worries than I can possibly imagine. I pray for them all and ask that You help them, show them mercy, love and kindness. Help them know that if they are in situations that can be changed, and need to be changed, that You help them know that You will be with them as they make the needed changes and that You will be their strength. Show them all the love of Christ so they not feel abandoned or alone, that they know they are not without hope and that You will take care of them and their needs. Draw us all closer to You, teach us Your way for our lives. Put burdens in the hearts of those who need to confess their sins, ask forgiveness and seek You. I praise You that when they do, that You will forgive them, show mercy and grace.

Amen

 

Conversation?

phone talk.jpg

 

Have you ever been involved in a conversation, whether in person, phone, text, or email, and the other person said something that just didn’t make sense to you, then make another comment that made you realize they were mad about something, but you really don’t know what they are talking about? That happens to me occasionally, more often than I would like. Sometimes, misunderstandings that are worked out once they give you more information and you are given a chance to discuss things which may have been due to something you said or wrote, sometimes because of something someone else told them. But, sometimes, they don’t tell you why so you are left wondering.

Or, have you been having a conversation, more one sided, because the person is upset or angry, and they just more or less tear into you and get harsh with things they say so you know they are upset, but you don’t know why? They say things that you simply do not understand what those things have to do with anything and when you ask for further information, asking them “What are you talking about?” They get even more irritated and just say something to the effect of “You know what I am talking about!” But, you don’t know. You have no clue whatsoever but, obviously in their mind you do, or should, know. But, as you try to get more information, or respond to things they have said, more accurately TRY to respond, because once they say their piece they say, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” and won’t respond to emails, texts or calls. It is very frustrating to have someone feel it is fine if they say anything and everything they want to say, but won’t even accept a response or try to understand. Even worse when the things they say are hateful. How can one respond to such things?

Well, if you aren’t getting a response, maybe they aren’t even reading your messages, or they have decided that they won’t believe what you say anyway, so they may read the messages, but still won’t respond. Or, after they were so harsh you don’t even try to respond because you realize they have made up their mind and will not even try to understand. Maybe they are attacking you that way because of some guilt they feel and are “gaslighting” you, trying to put the fault on you when they have done wrong. The only thing one can do about such a situation is pray. Pray that God shows you something so you understand what is going on, that He speak to the other person’s heart so they realize they are mistaken and that all are willing to forgive and be understanding about whatever is causing the problem.

I have had this happen recently, being accused of things of which I was innocent, but the accuser really has no interest in learning the truth.

19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

James 1:19-20

 

31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:31-32

SO, they SHOULD be forgiving and not lashing out, especially when they don’t have the truth and the one they are accusing and are angry at really has no idea of what they are speaking. Which, in one recent conversation I had like this, due to someone telling people untrue things.

 

10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Matthew 5:10-12

 

I know that it has happened to me due to others words and actions. But, Christ knows the truth and after I have faced the persecution He will be there for me. Regardless of the attacks against me I know I am blessed and that He will reward me.

 

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

 

And, I know I am confused from not knowing why someone is angry or why people lash out. But through that all, He will strengthen me, strengthen my faith and use all those things to improve me and better prepare me to serve Him. Christ does not want us to be hateful and mean to one another, He wants us to forgive, love and behave to each other as He would be towards us.

 

Lord, I praise Your Holy Name and worship You for Your majesty. I ask that You help me not be so quick to anger when I hear things when I may not have all the information or have wrong information. I pray You help me not be so quick to judge when I don’t know all the details and that I hold my tongue and not lash out at others in anger. Help me be more understanding, help me seek the truth, help me see the truth and not assume others know about what I speak. I ask in Jesus Name that You help me learn to seek You, seek Your truth and Your way in my life. Please give me guidance and discernment so I know what is from You and what is not. I pray You work in the hearts and minds of loved ones that they may see and hear Your truth as well. Draw us all closer to You that we may be together in eternity.

Amen

 

Thank you all for your time. Once again, I am trying to use scripture to help me understand how to deal with certain situations and how to act whichever side of the situation I am on. I hope that someone derives some benefit from this. Please remember as you go about your day to try and be a blessing to someone.

 

 

 

 

 

Is it God or is it me?

 

 

I wrote about times I sensed God trying to tell me something, trying to “speak” to me in some way. Usually that feeling of need to do something, concern for someone, some how causing me to just feel like something about an issue is just not right and I feel like I should try to speak with someone, or contact them. Sometimes, it’s a feeling that they need to know that all will be okay or that with God by their side, He will take care of them regardless of things. Sometimes, I try contacting those about whom I have the feeling, either directly, by phone, email, text, but somehow try to reach out. Other times, because of issues in the past, one person feeling like the other did them wrong, or if not that for some other reason gets hard feelings for them. Sometimes it may have been a misunderstanding, misspoken words meant well but either said or perceived wrong, another person says things that are not true and cause hard feelings, sometimes one intentionally misleads one about yet another and feelings change because of bad information, perhaps one knows they did wrong and is reluctant to say anything out of embarrassment, pride, vanity, concern they will hear “I warned you.” or similar comment, the possibilities of why one is concerned about trying to contact someone else could be endless but regardless of the reason, due to concerns, fear, about how things may be perceived if any attempt to communicate is made or that one’s feelings are not of God, but the person’s human self wanting it to be that way so I find myself uncertain about what steps to take. The fear I may be wrong is a huge factor, but like it says in the song, fear is a liar, so am I succumbing to attacks by the enemy in having the fear? Is the concern or caution from God trying to help me not make things worse?  There are many reasons for the hesitation. At time, I have hesitated when I was certain it was of God and that created issues that would never have occurred if I had listened to Him. Other times, I have hesitated to make sure it was God and not me and found that it was probably me and I avoided issues. I know there are things I have the same feelings about now, but I have that uncertainty and need to know before acting, or take a different approach.

The only way I know to figure out is through prayer and time with God. If it is of God, then He will make me more certain before I take the steps, IF I take the time to seek Him and His guidance for me. Other situations, I feel that any step I take could compromise things further and make any issues much worse, so for those, I still pray, but ask God to work in the hearts of others to show them the need to communicate and leave it in His hands. The latter is harder at times. Oh, I have the faith He has everything under His control and His plans will come to fruition, but at times, that is difficult. But, I will continue to trust Him, pray that He give the faith I need, have the ability to be patient and wait on Him to do His will and hope that others are sensitive to His guidance for them. Hoping that they get the reassurance that no matter what, there are no hard feelings, that there has been forgiveness from me that has been given for any wrongs and the knowledge that I hope for their forgiveness for any perceived or actual actions that caused hurt. I have no choice but to leave it all in His hands for He is in control and He will work in others lives so they aren’t afraid to contact me or whoever they feel they need to contact.

15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
16 Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.
17 For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.

1 Peter 3:15-17

 

2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

Romans 12:2-3

 

2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

James 1:2-6

 

5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:                                                                     6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.
11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

Hebrews 12:5-11

 

6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
8 Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:
9 Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1:6-9

 

He will try to teach us patience, to remind us we need to talk with him about things to get answers, try to teach us faith, and give us reassurance when it is His will that we have it. So, in the instances where I am not certain, or concerned about potential impact or outcome, I will pray, seek Him, seek His guidance, have faith that God will work things out so all will be as He plans. If I feel burdened about someone I am hesitant to contact, then I will not only pray for the things I mentioned, but pray for the person as well. That whether there is any communication or not, that God take care of them and protect them and have His way in their lives too. That they be sensitive to His guidance.

 

Lord, I praise You and glorify you. Thank You for the mercy and salvation you gave me through Your Son Jesus. I pray in Jesus name that I be sensitive to His will in my life and that I follow His guidance. I pray that friends, family, loved ones and others also be sensitive to His will and way for them. I ask that You move in the lives of family and friends that are not saved, draw them to You. Use me as You need to bring them to You.

Amen

 

I appreciate the visit, I hope all are well and are blessed richly. Please, take time to bless others as well.

 

 

 

 

UGGGH! What do THEY want this time?

coffee contact email hands
Photo by JÉSHOOTS on Pexels.com

Does anyone else, or maybe everyone else, have at least one person that when you see a text, email or their number on your phone think, “WHAT DO THEY WANT THIS TIME?!?” Because, due to their history you already know there is going to be some kind of hateful message coming. Never anything kind or decent, they just ooze hate and contempt, for anyone and everyone. Never contacting anyone unless they find, or fabricate, some reason to have their anger directed at the one they decided to message. They just try to find any reason to be offended and get angry, at anyone. You wonder why they hate you and others so much. I have some that are that way and I used to get annoyed, frustrated, angry with their behavior, then God showed me that the behavior I see is not really anger and hate at the person that is the focus of the tirade, but rather that these people hate themselves and have to direct that anger onto others.

So, now I just let them vent, usually, even if unfairly directed at me, I know they are wrong in what they say and try to give soft answers to calm the wrath. Turn the other cheek, again and again. Love them with the love of Christ, forgive them and pray for them.

10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

Matthew 5:10-11

 

43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

Matthew 5: 43-48

 

27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,
28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.

Luke 6:27-28

 

While those that show you hate may not be enemies, they bear ill will and hate so in that regard, perhaps. But, they are usually directing the hate they feel for themselves onto others. And, are even more in need of Christian love and prayers than one knows. I will pray that the misery they feel ceases and they find the peace of Christ.

 

Lord, I praise You and thank You for the guidance and knowledge You are giving me. I pray that those who direct hate at me seek in themselves what it is they hate and deal with it rather through You. I ask You to give me patience and tolerance while dealing with this trial. I thank You for the faith, love, forgiveness and the redemption from my sins through Your Son, Jesus. I pray that You work in the hearts of loved ones that they find the love and salvation only You can offer. Draw us all closer to You.

In the name of Jesus I offer my prayers to You.

Amen

 

Once again, I thank all who read this blog. I hope that you are blessed and are able to pass blessings on to others as you go about your lives today.