Sorrow

Emotion-5

 

Have you ever looked at someone and known by the look in their eyes that they were unhappy? I don’t mean not happy at the moment but unhappy with their life and by appearance they are extremely sorrowful and emotionally in, well, pain. Something in their life is not good. Maybe they realize it and know what that is but maybe they don’t. They are just unhappy. Oh, there may be moments of happiness but those are few compared to the hours, days, weeks and months of sadness. It seems to me it would almost be like drowning and managing to get a quick breath of air only to sink underwater again. Sometimes when I have seen people like that they seem to have given up hope for true joy. Many times people in such circumstances start out looking for happiness and joy only to realize once they get what they thought would bring happiness instead brings sorrow. This happens many ways: use of alcohol, drugs, pornography, pursuit of wealth, nicer clothes or nicer home are a few examples. But by trying to find happiness in those things one finds the opposite: health and financial problems from using drugs and alcohol, mental issues and relationship problems from watching pornography, relationship problems from being so motivated by wealth one loses their family, the financial difficulties many face when spending too much on clothes, housing or other things all bring more long lasting pain and suffering than any joy obtained. The shattered self esteem that goes with trying to have one thing but realizing the cost and impact on one’s life is not worth any benefit that can be realized.

Too many people are sad for a variety of reasons and find ways to try to decrease the sadness but the worldly pursuits will never give true joy. Those things cannot fill a void that these people have in themselves. They cannot find joy from outside themselves and if a person is not happy with themselves, they can’t be happy with things. There are many ways to find joy and peace for oneself, but the only way to find true joy and peace is through Christ. I found myself in similar circumstances to many, for a variety of reasons I had a lot of sorrow and pain in my life, some things helped but even the things that helped did not give the true joy I found when I quit fighting against God and came to Him to confess I was a sinner and asked for His forgiveness. And, just like that, He gave it to me. Oh, there are times I am not fully joyful, there are times when I have pain and sorrow for one thing or another. It is part of human existence to have pain and sorrow at times. But now, those are minimal and the joy is the vast, vast majority of the time. When I am facing difficult times I have Christ to help me through the hard times and the joy and peace of knowing what waits for me in eternity with Him.

 

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.  Revelation 21:4

 

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time [are] not worthy [to be compared] with the glory which shall be revealed in us.  Romans 8:18

 

The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.  Proverbs 10:22

 

But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.  1 Peter 4:13

 

He tells us there will be sorrows, but He also tells us that when we have sorrows, we will have Him there to take our pain, as Christ did on the cross and that all sorrow and pain will be replace with joy, not just joy but exceeding joy. What a magnificent Lord we serve.

 

Lord, I praise You for all You are and thank You for the joy You give me and for giving me hope and comfort in times of sorrow. More than anything I thank You and praise You for the salvation and forgiveness that Christ gave Himself for that I would be able to have that joy and life eternal. I pray that You show all those in pain and sorrow, for whatever reason,  that they do not need to suffer and hurt, no reason for them to be miserable but that instead there is a reason to rejoice and that You offer salvation from whatever situation in their lives that cause the suffering and that You will help them find a way out of those circumstances and that You will give them joy in times of pain and sorrow. I pray in the name of Jesus that anyone going through hard times learn to look to You for their joy and salvation from the sorrows they are enduring. I pray that You draw us all to You and that we learn how to glorify Christ in all we do and show us all the forgiveness and mercy You have for us.

Amen

Thanks to everyone for stopping by and taking time to read my post. I hope all have a blessed and joyful day and that you find a way to spread your joy and to bless someone else today.

 

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Self Esteem

 

 

 

I used to have very low self esteem. Many reasons one develops that feeling about one’s self and that is how it was for me. My mom was always good to me, but she also always made time to help others, family, say one of her sisters was having issues with her kids, she would be quick to run over and help her with whatever, often having cousins staying with us for extended time periods which caused me to have to cancel plans so we could go to the aunt’s house and deal with whatever issues occurred there. Sometimes a friend needed something and once again, plans canceled to go help someone else. Later, they started foster parenting so all kinds of disruptions there, and the amount of time the foster children took was phenomenal. Those things resulted in my feeling that I must not have been too important, otherwise she wouldn’t make me cancel plans for the other people and that my brother and I were a not enough and that, since the other kids took so much time and she had less for me, that added to those feelings. I was a kid and kids think only of themselves. I know it did not make her love me less, but still, a person only has so much time and when she took time from me to deal with the foster children and other people there was less time for me.

When I was older, dating, sort of engaged choices were made by others that added to the low self esteem, making me feel like I was fortunate if anyone took time for me at all. Finding that they preferred to spend time with others, whether it be friends, family or whoever than with me. I tried compensating with working hard, distracting myself hunting or fishing, getting an education and good career. But, for a long time that did not help my self esteem. Over time, it got better, but regardless of all that, deep inside, I did not feel good about myself. Then, when my father was dying and my wife decided it was more important to take a vacation trip rather than cancel it so she could stay there with my father, me and my family at a difficult time it truly destroyed any sense of self worth that I had at all. How could I have value if my own wife would go on vacation while I was suffering and my father was dying. I pretended things were sort of okay and made it through but was not able to find value in myself. I worked helping my mom around her house, worked a lot on projects at home, found other distractions but, no matter what, my self esteem was not better and I really could not see a future. When I got to the point that I had good self esteem and felt that there was a bright future on the horizon, once again, I received a blow that shattered that and one again, my sense of self worth was gone.

As I said, after a series of events, I was at my lowest point ever and that is when I came back to Christ. HE made me better, He forgave my sins, He showed me that others actions do not make me worth more or less. HE showed me my value. It isn’t based on actions of others. Others’ actions are their decisions, sometimes made out of concern for others, but more often than not out of selfishness, to try to fill voids they have due to self esteem issues. He showed me that thinking that when others treated me badly was actually because of problems they had with themselves and are usually self motivated. Failure of others to treat me as I treat them is not my failure and doesn’t make me of less importance. Humans are by nature selfish and no matter how much they swear their love and dedication, eventually they will make decisions based purely on what they think best serves them and will either make demands of you to do things, or turn their backs on you if you cannot do what they want, when they want. Despite saying they value you, you end up seeing that they value themselves more and when it is someone you thought really loved you it can further damage one’s self esteem. Until you remember, human nature and that some people will not, or cannot, get past their own human element.

Now, my value is from Christ. He is my savior, my salvation, my redeemer. He makes me valuable beyond anything I could have ever imagined. He is always there, never leaves me or forsakes me. He cares about me, my needs, desires, hurts and what is important for me. He doesn’t base my value on what I can buy for Him, what I can do for Him. Oh, God expects our praise, worship and service but it doesn’t mean He doesn’t value us. He valued me enough to sacrifice His son, that is a lot more than others have done for me.

 

“For our gospel came not unto you in word only, but also in power, and in the Holy Ghost, and in much assurance; as ye know what manner of men we were among you for your sake.”
1 Thessalonians 1:5 (KJV)

 

He was here for MY SAKE! To help me know that my value to Him is so great he lowered himself and became human so He could die for my sins.

Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. 1 John 3:1

 

And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God. Luke 16:15

 

The last verse says the most to me, that no matter what PEOPLE do to me, to try to undermine my self esteem, whether it be intentional or not, GOD will see me for who I am, He will see my heart, He know me and my value of whether or not the other people do. He also tells me that when one is esteemed by people, they are an abomination to God. Those who only worry about what others think, and do anything to try to make them think highly of them, usually in an attempt to boost their own self esteem, will destroy the value God puts on them. Plus, it will only serve to further lower their own self esteem when they realize that the esteem in which others hold them is fleeting.

 

Lord, I worship You and thank You for being my Redeemer, that You brought me out of that circumstance to show me that I had tremendous value and that You always knew that and You were always there for me. All I needed to do was call out to You. Thank You for all the blessings, for the knowledge You are giving me, for helping my faith strengthen and my relationship with Christ grow tremendously. I ask in Jesus Name that You continue Your work in me to make me know how to better seek You, further strengthen my faith, show me Your will in my life. I ask that You also work in the lives of others to draw them to You and teach them Your will in their lives as well.

Amen

 

Thanks for the visit, I hope others who may have self esteem issues realize that material possessions, money, status, other people do not dictate our worth, one’s only true worth comes from Christ and our relationship with Him.

 

 

 

People watching (social dynamics observations )

rowdy-kids-market-80402959-small.jpg

 

I had to go to the market (grocery store for those who don’t use the same term.) I hate shopping, I usually go, find what I need and go. But, sometimes, I take a little time to observe people and their behavior. I do that at work sometimes too, not just take care of the sick person, but watch the family in the room and see how they interact. As I was shopping, I heard something fall and there were two boys, lets call them Sam and Joe, (I thought about Thing 1 and Thing 2 as I read a lot of Dr Seuss when I started reading a couple weeks ago but thought some would think that mean, lol) but one was standing there the other hollering, “mom, did you see that? Sam knocked that stuff off the shelf.” Sam said, “no I didn’t Joe did.” Joe started hollering louder, “NO I DIDN’T, YOU DID!” Sam said no more. Joe kept going on, saying more and more. Sam just picked up the boxes that had fallen and handed them to his mom as he was fussed at for messing with stuff and knocking it off the shelf, he was lucky it didn’t break. Joe got a huge grin on his face. Something seemed off. As I shopped, they were a little ahead of me for a while. You know how that goes? Seems like when I shop, as I go through the aisles if someone is going the same direction, there ends up being a convoy of sorts for a while so you end up ahead of one person and behind another for a while. That happened so I kind of observed these boys, this family, as I shopped. I would hear a commotion and saw other instances where there was a mishap of some sort, Sam always got blamed by Joe, as soon as something happened. Occasionally, Joe would get something, take it to their mom and say, “Didn’t you want this?” Mom would act appreciative and then tell him to put it in the cart. Sam just followed along and if he tried to help, he was told, “NO, that is not what I wanted, put it back.” But THEN, I looked up at just the right time, Joe shoved Sam into one of the aisle displays, this was a stack of macaroni and cheese, Sam fell, the mac and cheese tower came crashing down. One again, the second it happened Joe started hollering, “Mom, did you see that? Sam just knocked that stuff over.” Sam tried to protest, “No I didn’t mom, Joe pushed me.” Mom was livid at this point and told Sam he was not getting anything today. Then added, “why can’t you just be like Joe, he is always so good at the store and you always have to mess with stuff and cause a big commotion.” Sam started to say something, then, you could see the look of defeat so he just said, “Sorry mom.” and tried to pick up some of the boxes. Joe just grinned.

I went to them, said “ma’am, I don’t want to interfere, but that little boy, (pointing at Joe) shoved him into that stack of boxes.” She just kinda looked at me and then the boys. At that point I didn’t need anything more in that aisle and couldn’t get past all the mac and cheese boxes, so I turned around and went on with my shopping. I wondered about those boys, that family, prayed that God work with them. I will admit, there may be more involved than I know, maybe Sam is usually the trouble maker and Joe usually the victim. I saw them and their interactions for but a few moments but it sure looked to be a pattern of behavior that had played out many times before. Sam, innocent of what he was accused, Joe the instigator, loudly accusing Sam of any and all things that happened.

I have seen this with families in clinic as well. Mom busy with tending the sick child while the other children do what kids do. One will sit there playing with whatever toy, another trying to play with the various pieces of equipment, teasing siblings or whatever, but when something gets knocked over or something gets spilled, one will accuse the other often wrongly, but the mom will seem to believe one immediately and disbelieve the other when he denies wrong doing.

My son in law was talking about issues at the factory where he works, there was a problem in the packaging in an area near him. Someone had loaded the bags, well, what became bags, it was rolls of paper packaging that as it went through the process was cut to length, one end sealed, the package filled and then the other end of package was sealed. But, the roll of packaging material was not loaded correctly, they are supposed to load it, run the package part way through to feed it into the machine, cut off a certain amount so the printing on it is centered correctly. Well, someone had failed to cut off the excess so a bunch of the bags had the printing not placed properly. One employee immediately accused the prior shift worker of the problem. Well, that guy was home by then and couldn’t defend himself. The supervisor made a note, said he was going to have the guys supervisor speak to him and they would just leave the current packaging for him to have to refill when he got to work the next day. The one working at the time went ahead and made corrections and finished out his shift. The next day, there was a bit of a commotion. As my son in law tells it, management had done an investigation, the machines record certain bits of information. Keep track of a variety of things, how much has been processed and packaged, how much time the machine is down for service, how much more packaging is there so they don’t run without it in place and who knows what else. But, as they reviewed the information they found that the packaging material had been reloaded, about an hour or so after shift change, so no way the accused employee had been at fault. Then, my son in law added that it seems the one that blamed the other has had a lot of that sort of thing happen, malfunction of something, always someone else’s fault, someone else gets in trouble but had never been caught. Eventually, he was found out. I don’t know what, if any disciplinary action was taken, but the fact that he left multiple victims if you will, in his wake while always portraying himself as innocent was an interesting thing to me.

I got to thinking on that type of interaction. How one person seems to accuse another of any and all type of behavior and actions. They believe the accuser and though one is innocent, they are automatically assumed guilty, because “Joe said you did it.” with the accused, knowing that protesting will not help, accepting that no attempted defense will be successful accepts it and hopes that one day the truth will be seen. With Sam, Joe and their mom, well, I hope I helped and that mom sees the truth about some of the things. Like I said, I may not know the whole situation, maybe I saw Sam on a good day and Joe on a bad day. But, still, patterns tend to be consistent on human behavior.

 

But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out. Numbers 32:23

 

Be not a witness against thy neighbour without cause; and deceive not with thy lips. Proverbs 24:28

 

And Jesus answered and said unto them, Take heed that no man deceive you. Matthew 24:4

 

I don’t know if Joe ever apologized, if he ever confessed to his mom. I don’t know if I only saw an unusual event for that family of if it was a typical thing. I just know what I saw then. I hope Sam is as good as he seemed but also hope Joe isn’t quite that bad. Regardless, I pray for them. If Joe is as he seemed, the child is in for a rough life because all those chickens will one day come home to roost.

But, there is hope, for him, for all, Christ, the Son of God, died that we may have salvation. We have all sinned, but He gives us the opportunity to see the truth, most importantly the truth of His word and for the forgiveness and salvation we need. WHAT A GRACIOUS GOD WE SERVE!

22 Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference:
23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
24 Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:
25 Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;
26 To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.

Romans 3:22-26

 

Lord, I praise Your Holy Name, please help the family I saw. Help the mother do well raising her children. If not saved, draw them to You. Help me be able to be a better servant, to seek You, to serve You and do Your will. Help me with writing this blog that I use the right words and deliver the messages You wish me to deliver. Give me the Heart and Mind of Christ that I serve You better. Draw family and loved ones, as well as all, to You that those not saved will be and those that are be closer to You. Thank You for the many blessings, my salvation and yet another day to serve You.

Amen

 

Thanks for stopping by today. Getting ready for church, I hope all have a blessed day and find a way to be a blessing to at least one other person today.