Buyer’s remorse

car lot

My daughter and son in law were in need of a new car about 2 years ago. They wanted a newer used car rather than a brand new and had been searching on line for quite a while. They finally narrowed down the search to 3 or 4 different models and were taking their time, looking to see what they could find that was what they were looking for at the time. They found a couple dealerships a couple hours from here that had several different cars that they felt were good options so they went to look and that evening came home with a new car. But, it was a completely different make and model than any they had considered. It was a nice looking car, drove well, mileage wasn’t too bad and price, was a little less than the others they were considering, so they bought it. I asked my son in law and he said they had looked at and driven several cars that day and then the salesman at one dealership wanted to show them this particular car. He told them all the wonderful features and how it was a great deal and better car than any of the others they had looked at so far. They drove it and liked it, well my daughter really liked it, the son in law was not that thrilled about it. They really didn’t know much about that particular model. They had not researched it to see if it had been subject of multiple recalls, if there were any consumer reports about frequently reported problems with it. But, they went ahead and started some negotiations with the salesman and ended up purchasing it. In a couple months they noticed a slight problem with driving it at certain speeds where it had a slight vibration. They had the tires checked, some uneven wear, slightly out of alignment, but the shop here couldn’t do it as it required special equipment to do the alignment and the only place that could do that was the dealer. So, 2 hour drive each way to get it aligned, with the cost being far more than what it would have been locally. But, it seemed to drive better. Then, a few weeks later, issues with the brakes. Hmmm, no one locally stocked or could order the parts, so ordered from the dealer, who also said that there was a special tool needed to remove the calipers to replace the brake pads, which they had to order as well. Fixed that and all okay, until some issues with the rear axle which required repair at the dealership and while it was covered by the warranty, that required a lot of discussion with the dealer as, after the repair was done, they said the manufacturer informed them it was not a warrantied repair. They discussion went back and forth, finally the company agreed to cover the repair. Since then, there have been other issues and both have expressed regret over the purchase since after they started having issues with it they did the research and found that the problems they had were common and usually required work at the dealership. Some covered under warranty, some wasn’t covered.

Sometimes I would help my son in law with the repairs and he would complain about the need to work on the car and if my daughter was in the garage she got very defensive about it. Saying things like, “Well, that could happen with any car.” “It wasn’t that expensive to fix it.” and otherwise being very defensive about any criticism about the vehicle. This happened every time someone said anything even slightly negative about the car. She would argue how wonderful the car really was and the little things weren’t that bad and most of the bigger things were covered by the warranty (although, that was not always true.) My son in law told me recently that he had misgivings about buying it but still, thought it was going to be ok. My daughter really wanted that car but now tells us that within a couple months of buying it she was having some significant regrets, she was having buyer’s remorse about buying it without getting to know more about the car and not taking time to do any research about it.

There have been times I have had buyer’s remorse or regrets about many things. Usually it was when I didn’t take time to really evaluate the potential purchase; Cars, houses, power tools, etc. But could apply to different jobs I accepted over the years. Usually, when I bought something that I kind of knew better than to buy without looking into it closer or taking the jobs I was uncertain about I would never admit to it, pride got in the way and I didn’t want people to know that I had messed up so I had to act like I was thrilled with the car, house, whatever, even it I really wanted to get rid of it. The list is endless and every time I did something a certain way without full thought or purchased something on impulse or without fully researching things and considering options, whether that be continue to drive my current vehicle or choices between brands of power tools and such, I almost always came to regret getting in too much of a hurry and not doing a little more research and comparisons between brands and options.

One’s actions often bring undesired results, one fails to consider all aspects and makes a rash decision and acts on that decision and then, over time they realize it was a mistake. God doesn’t want us to make uninformed or poorly informed decisions about life, whether that be major purchases, significant career choices, or any number of things. One should, as a Christian, approach all things not only with careful consideration, but with prayer, patience and a willingness to do without something until it is clear that one is following God’s plan.

35 Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.
36 For ye have need of patience, that, after Heye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

Hebrews 10:35-36

 

5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

 Proverbs 3:5-6

 

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.  Matthew 6:33

He wants us to seek Him before worrying about what decision we should make and if we do, He will reward us and guide us. He will protect us from our own bad decisions, IF WE SEEK HIM and let Him do so.

While we all make bad decisions with which He was likely not pleased; whatever actions we took, purchases we made, etc; it is more displeasing to God if we fail to correct whatever error was made. He is patient and won’t forsake us, but will remind us repeatedly that we made an error that caused some sort of division between He and us.

9 Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him.
10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things [done] in [his] body, according to that he hath done, whether [it be] good or bad.

2 Corinthians 5:9-10

But, regardless of poor decisions, made without seeking guidance from the Lord, He loves us and will forgive us, He will help us correct our mistakes and set us on the path He desires. We need not live with remorse for bad decisions, we can correct mistakes and let Him help us make the correct ones in the future.

 

Lord, I praise Your Holy Name and thank You for the instructions You give me. I know I have a lot to learn. I am at a point where I am making some significant decisions and I pray in Jesus Name that I remember to seek You first and let You guide me as I do so. I pray that You show me what You would have me do. Draw me closer to You, show me, and my loved ones, Your will and way for us. Show us all the errors we have made that we may correct them, show us the correct path before we take a wrong step. I ask that You work in the hearts and minds of loved ones to draw them closer to You that they may seek and be given the forgiveness and salvation You will give.

Amen

 

Thank you all for stopping by today. It’s labor day and I, unfortunately, have to work. But, I pray all have a blessed day, and that you bless someone else as you enjoy your holiday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Conversation?

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Have you ever been involved in a conversation, whether in person, phone, text, or email, and the other person said something that just didn’t make sense to you, then make another comment that made you realize they were mad about something, but you really don’t know what they are talking about? That happens to me occasionally, more often than I would like. Sometimes, misunderstandings that are worked out once they give you more information and you are given a chance to discuss things which may have been due to something you said or wrote, sometimes because of something someone else told them. But, sometimes, they don’t tell you why so you are left wondering.

Or, have you been having a conversation, more one sided, because the person is upset or angry, and they just more or less tear into you and get harsh with things they say so you know they are upset, but you don’t know why? They say things that you simply do not understand what those things have to do with anything and when you ask for further information, asking them “What are you talking about?” They get even more irritated and just say something to the effect of “You know what I am talking about!” But, you don’t know. You have no clue whatsoever but, obviously in their mind you do, or should, know. But, as you try to get more information, or respond to things they have said, more accurately TRY to respond, because once they say their piece they say, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” and won’t respond to emails, texts or calls. It is very frustrating to have someone feel it is fine if they say anything and everything they want to say, but won’t even accept a response or try to understand. Even worse when the things they say are hateful. How can one respond to such things?

Well, if you aren’t getting a response, maybe they aren’t even reading your messages, or they have decided that they won’t believe what you say anyway, so they may read the messages, but still won’t respond. Or, after they were so harsh you don’t even try to respond because you realize they have made up their mind and will not even try to understand. Maybe they are attacking you that way because of some guilt they feel and are “gaslighting” you, trying to put the fault on you when they have done wrong. The only thing one can do about such a situation is pray. Pray that God shows you something so you understand what is going on, that He speak to the other person’s heart so they realize they are mistaken and that all are willing to forgive and be understanding about whatever is causing the problem.

I have had this happen recently, being accused of things of which I was innocent, but the accuser really has no interest in learning the truth.

19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

James 1:19-20

 

31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:31-32

SO, they SHOULD be forgiving and not lashing out, especially when they don’t have the truth and the one they are accusing and are angry at really has no idea of what they are speaking. Which, in one recent conversation I had like this, due to someone telling people untrue things.

 

10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Matthew 5:10-12

 

I know that it has happened to me due to others words and actions. But, Christ knows the truth and after I have faced the persecution He will be there for me. Regardless of the attacks against me I know I am blessed and that He will reward me.

 

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

 

And, I know I am confused from not knowing why someone is angry or why people lash out. But through that all, He will strengthen me, strengthen my faith and use all those things to improve me and better prepare me to serve Him. Christ does not want us to be hateful and mean to one another, He wants us to forgive, love and behave to each other as He would be towards us.

 

Lord, I praise Your Holy Name and worship You for Your majesty. I ask that You help me not be so quick to anger when I hear things when I may not have all the information or have wrong information. I pray You help me not be so quick to judge when I don’t know all the details and that I hold my tongue and not lash out at others in anger. Help me be more understanding, help me seek the truth, help me see the truth and not assume others know about what I speak. I ask in Jesus Name that You help me learn to seek You, seek Your truth and Your way in my life. Please give me guidance and discernment so I know what is from You and what is not. I pray You work in the hearts and minds of loved ones that they may see and hear Your truth as well. Draw us all closer to You that we may be together in eternity.

Amen

 

Thank you all for your time. Once again, I am trying to use scripture to help me understand how to deal with certain situations and how to act whichever side of the situation I am on. I hope that someone derives some benefit from this. Please remember as you go about your day to try and be a blessing to someone.

 

 

 

 

 

History

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I have been asked on a few occasions why I dwell in the past. I must say, I don’t dwell in the past, but at times think about it because as it has been said, “those that fail to study the past are doomed to repeat it.” I consider things from the past, what I did right, and what I did wrong so I can learn about doing the right better and try to avoid doing the wrong again. As far as the wrong goes, I try to understand how I acted that was not right, or if I did not understand another’s words or actions, I try to understand how I misunderstood things. For some reason that I don’t understand, there are people who don’t give any consideration to their past mistakes and end up making the very same mistake again. Once is plenty, twice I am a slow learner, but if I make the same mistake 3 or more times, well, I am not trying to learn at all.  I gotta say, I prefer to make no mistakes. But, that would not be human but I sure don’t want to make the same ones over and over. So, I consider errors, mistakes, sins, some are only errors, others are mistakes and sins. I wish I could say I will never sin again, but there will be mistakes, unintentionally, but they will occur. I just have to try hard to avoid them.

History is important, it makes us who we are, good, bad or for most of us, somewhere in the middle. I want to use my history to be more on the good end of the spectrum and less in the middle.

God forgives us our past sins, all we have to do is come to Him, believe in Christ’s sacrifice, be repentant and ask Him to forgive. It is that simple. But, that doesn’t mean He wants us to blindly proceed into the future and repeat those sins because we forgot them. He doesn’t want us to dwell in the past, but He doesn’t want us to forget either. There are lessons to be learned so I try to look back so I can move forward.

 

For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope. Romans 15:4

 

The thing that hath been, it [is that] which shall be; and that which is done [is] that which shall be done: and [there is] no new [thing] under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9

 

Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.

1 Corinthians 10:11

 

God wants us to learn from our mistakes, to become better people, better Christians. He doesn’t want us to LIVE in our mistakes, but to try to avoid repeating them.

 

Lord, I praise Your Holy name and thank You for all the blessings you have given me. I thank You so much for bringing me back to You, redeeming me, forgiving my sins and giving me the salvation that Christ paid for on the cross. I ask in Jesus Name that You help me learn from my mistakes to become a better Christian and servant for Jesus. Help me learn how to seek Him and know Him. Help me have the heart and mind of Christ. Thank You for the lessons and the guidance from Your Word. Help me better understand how to apply those lessons to my life. I pray that You work in me and my loved ones to draw us all closer to You, show us Your path for us and help us better serve You.

If anyone of the readers has a special need, problem, concern or other issue in their life I pray You help them, comfort them and move in their life to help them with their problem.

Amen

 

I thank you all for stopping by today. I don’t normally say much on the following, but all have an open invitation to send me a message if they feel the need. Please, if anyone has a need, problem, or issue they want to discuss, send me a message. I may not have the answers, but I can do my best to help you find where to get the help you need with your issue.

I pray you all have a blessed day, and are able to bless at least one other person.

 

 

Sometimes you have to let them make their own mistakes.

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I was trying to teach my grandson how to mow with the riding mower. And, while he operates the machine fine, he doesn’t get the part about the actual MOWING. He likes to go fast and sometimes that means he doesn’t get the grass cut evenly, or he ends up missing patches. When he first started doing it, I would stop him, have him back up and do it better. But, there comes a time when I have to just let him do it on his own and if he makes mistakes, misses areas and such then I have him go do that part over. He is learning now that there is a wrong way to do things. Sometimes, we all have to learn from our mistakes. I know I made mistakes a lot of times growing up and Pop, or my dad, or whoever would just watch, wait and finally tell me what I did or didn’t do and I would have to repeat it or clean up the messes from my mistakes. You know, that takes a lot of patience. Letting them do what they must to learn. You can instruct, warn, try to correct before a mistake is made, but sometimes, people have to learn from their own mistakes. And, from dealing with him while he mows, when trying to teach my kids to drive, dealing with students that I am teaching to do sutures, splints and such, I get so anxious and frustrated that sometimes I want to just do it myself. I could do it faster and better but, whoever I am teaching doesn’t learn that way, even though they could learn by listening and watching, many learn better lessons by making mistakes, such as if they make a splint wrong, then take it off and do it over. T hey are learning things the hard way. My dad used to say a smart man learn from his own mistake, but a wise man learns from the mistakes of others. I have got to say, I must be smart because I sure learned a lot the hard way, made plenty of mistakes and learned from them. I hope I did anyway.

I wonder if that’s how God feels sometimes. He gives us freewill, and won’t stop us from using it. He may place convictions in our hearts, make it so we will, or at least should reconsider, but He doesn’t stop us. But, as impatient as I get, as frustrated as I get, I realize that it cannot be anywhere near the frustration He feels when I have had to learn from making mistakes. I am sure there were times, many times undoubtedly, that God thought “No my son, I wish you wouldn’t do that.” But, Christ still forgives, no matter how bad the mistake, He still loves me and is there for me, to seek His help and guidance, I just need ask and He will show me how to NOT make mistakes.

After looking, I had to find some synonyms, King James doesn’t use modern words. And, that is what I prefer, but I may have to try a different translation.

And many among them shall stumble, and fall, and be broken, and be snared, and be taken. Isaiah 8:15 (KJV)

 

Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God.          Matthews 22:29 (NIV)

 

Lots of times, there is talk of errors, mistakes, wrong doing.  David, Solomon, Moses, and many others all made mistakes. God did not stop them, He did not want them to make mistakes but He let them use their free will and then, when they found the errors in their ways their errors were addressed, they repented and forgiveness was given. Like with my grandson, I make him mow the areas he missed. Even though I gave him instruction on the right way, he chose another way, then learned that not doing right has it’s cost. Just like so many in the Bible that went against God’s plans. Maybe out of spite, anger, greed, selfishness, so many different ways one does things.  We still do different than Christ wants. God can and will allow us to do that, hoping; actually, He knows what we will do as He knows all that was, is and will be; that we make the right choice while knowing what will happen and waiting for us to be ready to seek Him, repent, and correct our ways. Christ forgives us when we ask and will then help us get back on the path He has planned.

 

Lord, I praise You and thank You for the blessings You give me. I know that I have made so many mistakes yet You forgave them all. I pray You will help me follow Your plans that You have made for me and help me not let my human self get in the way. I thank You for the sacrifices made for me to have salvation. I pray You draw loved ones to You so that those not saved will become redeemed through You and draw us all closer so we desire to only seek You and Your will and way for our lives.

Amen

 

Thank you all for coming by and making it through my ramblings.  I truly hope that someone else benefits or is blessed by this and my other writings. Have a great, very blessed day and don’t forget to be a blessing to someone. Maybe even someone you don’t feel like blessing, they may need it the most.