Never happy, always angry.

Have you ever had to deal with someone that for no good reason is just never happy. Oh, they pretend to be happy but if you look it’s a facade and you can tell there is no true joy. Even worse than that, they are obviously angry and it’s easy to see since they are continuously not only quick to complain about almost everyone and everything if not absolutely everyone and everything. But not only are they trying to find any excuse to complain about things they almost immediately go from complaining about others but they attack them. Spreading half truths, outright lies and saying vile things about them. And, when they are doing all that, creating chaos and drama that they seem to thrive. Only being happy themselves when they are hurting others and causing them to be unhappy. Doing all they can to try to harass others and spread misery.

11 Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.
12 There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?

James 4:11-12

When one reviews the psychiatry and psychology literature it becomes obvious that those who behave that way are actually trying to project the feelings they have about themselves onto others. They feel badly about themselves and want to make others feel badly too, so that they feel “normal” because they think “if everyone else is miserable like me, I am mostly normal, and if I was the cause of the misery, then I have some power in life over others.” The individuals are filled with self hate, self loathing, low self esteem and the only way they can feel a sense of self worth is through trying to hurt others and make them feel badly. It is truly sad that one has that mindset, but there are a lot of people out there that are exactly that way. Finding joy in others sorrow and feeling sad if they realize others have any joy. They feel no remorse when they mistreat others, instead feeling or at least acting like, it is their personal right to do such.

How does one help someone like that? Can they be helped? Sadly, most are narcissistic to one extent or another and they justify their actions as their right that supersedes the rights of others. The literally have no regard for others but can do a great job pretending to be concerned and can at times be quite charming when they feel they have something to gain from someone and they believe that behavior will help them so at times, will say nice things to make another feel good about themselves, but that is usually short lived and once they decide another person is not beneficial to them, they will attack, and attack ruthlessly. Which takes us back to the way that some will complain and attack others. But, the bottom line for those people is that they hate themselves, try to use others to validate themselves and in other ways use people to try to help their own self esteem.

12 But what I do, that I will do, that I may cut off occasion from them which desire occasion; that wherein they glory, they may be found even as we.

13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.

14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.

15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.

2 Corinthians 11:12-15

If having some sort of “crisis” where they express doubts and concerns to people, ask for help, ask what is wrong, etc, and the person tries to help them by telling them what they have observed, then they attack that person as well.

He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.  Proverbs 15:32

Sadly, these people can be subtle how they do things, sometimes, not so subtle, but when that pattern of behavior is observed, be cautious and realize that you can pray for them, but that they often will deny they are wrong so feel they have no reason to talk to God about anything. But, one continues to pray with the hope that God works in that person’s life.

Lord, I praise Your name and worship you for Your majesty. Thank You for the blessings and life lessons that helps me to improve my walk with You and makes my life better. I pray in the name of Jesus that You continue to help me see and understand others better and how to deal with those that behave in negative manner so I can avoid getting trapped in difficult circumstances or caught up in the drama that some try to create. I ask that You reach those who are that way and show them Your truth and work in their hearts that the do right by You and others. I pray that You draw my loved ones to You and show them how to receive the forgiveness and mercy that You offer.

Amen.

I appreciate those who take the time to visit my blog and read my posts. I hope all are having a blessed Christmas season and are able to be a blessing to others as well.

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Sorrow

Emotion-5

 

Have you ever looked at someone and known by the look in their eyes that they were unhappy? I don’t mean not happy at the moment but unhappy with their life and by appearance they are extremely sorrowful and emotionally in, well, pain. Something in their life is not good. Maybe they realize it and know what that is but maybe they don’t. They are just unhappy. Oh, there may be moments of happiness but those are few compared to the hours, days, weeks and months of sadness. It seems to me it would almost be like drowning and managing to get a quick breath of air only to sink underwater again. Sometimes when I have seen people like that they seem to have given up hope for true joy. Many times people in such circumstances start out looking for happiness and joy only to realize once they get what they thought would bring happiness instead brings sorrow. This happens many ways: use of alcohol, drugs, pornography, pursuit of wealth, nicer clothes or nicer home are a few examples. But by trying to find happiness in those things one finds the opposite: health and financial problems from using drugs and alcohol, mental issues and relationship problems from watching pornography, relationship problems from being so motivated by wealth one loses their family, the financial difficulties many face when spending too much on clothes, housing or other things all bring more long lasting pain and suffering than any joy obtained. The shattered self esteem that goes with trying to have one thing but realizing the cost and impact on one’s life is not worth any benefit that can be realized.

Too many people are sad for a variety of reasons and find ways to try to decrease the sadness but the worldly pursuits will never give true joy. Those things cannot fill a void that these people have in themselves. They cannot find joy from outside themselves and if a person is not happy with themselves, they can’t be happy with things. There are many ways to find joy and peace for oneself, but the only way to find true joy and peace is through Christ. I found myself in similar circumstances to many, for a variety of reasons I had a lot of sorrow and pain in my life, some things helped but even the things that helped did not give the true joy I found when I quit fighting against God and came to Him to confess I was a sinner and asked for His forgiveness. And, just like that, He gave it to me. Oh, there are times I am not fully joyful, there are times when I have pain and sorrow for one thing or another. It is part of human existence to have pain and sorrow at times. But now, those are minimal and the joy is the vast, vast majority of the time. When I am facing difficult times I have Christ to help me through the hard times and the joy and peace of knowing what waits for me in eternity with Him.

 

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.  Revelation 21:4

 

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time [are] not worthy [to be compared] with the glory which shall be revealed in us.  Romans 8:18

 

The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.  Proverbs 10:22

 

But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.  1 Peter 4:13

 

He tells us there will be sorrows, but He also tells us that when we have sorrows, we will have Him there to take our pain, as Christ did on the cross and that all sorrow and pain will be replace with joy, not just joy but exceeding joy. What a magnificent Lord we serve.

 

Lord, I praise You for all You are and thank You for the joy You give me and for giving me hope and comfort in times of sorrow. More than anything I thank You and praise You for the salvation and forgiveness that Christ gave Himself for that I would be able to have that joy and life eternal. I pray that You show all those in pain and sorrow, for whatever reason,  that they do not need to suffer and hurt, no reason for them to be miserable but that instead there is a reason to rejoice and that You offer salvation from whatever situation in their lives that cause the suffering and that You will help them find a way out of those circumstances and that You will give them joy in times of pain and sorrow. I pray in the name of Jesus that anyone going through hard times learn to look to You for their joy and salvation from the sorrows they are enduring. I pray that You draw us all to You and that we learn how to glorify Christ in all we do and show us all the forgiveness and mercy You have for us.

Amen

Thanks to everyone for stopping by and taking time to read my post. I hope all have a blessed and joyful day and that you find a way to spread your joy and to bless someone else today.