The online auction is ending today and people are supposed to pick the items that they purchased Saturday. I got a message from the auctioneer saying he has had some people requesting to pick up items from the estate auction Sunday, a day later than initially planned. That wasn’t an issue for me and I let him know it was fine. We exchanged a few texts and then it sort of hit me that my parents things would be gone. I had a multitude of emotions sort of hit me but the biggest things were relief to finally get that part over and a sadness that the physical items that they had collected and accumulated over the years would no longer be there which caused some sadness. In some regards it will be like losing them all over again, definitely mixture of bitter and sweet. Of course, there were some things that held more sentimental value for me, so those things I kept, little things that bring back memories of certain holidays, special events, vacations and some things just reminders of day to day life. Some of my father’s knives and sharpening equipment, tools of his trade. He was a meat cutter for almost his entire life and holding the steel that he used brings back more memories than I can begin to list. A few of my mother’s instruments, books, knickknacks do the same with her. So, those were things that were far too precious to let go. Those are some of the things I kept. But, they are only items, the memories, those are the real treasures.
Saying goodbye to a loved one is never easy, but while they are alive, one always assumes they will see them again. But, the final good bye is hard. But, regardless of seeing the things go, even though the items are going to be gone the memories will last forever. Sometimes more in the forefront of my mind and other times less so but I will forever and always have them with me in my heart.
After this weekend, rather than going to a house that is filled with their things, I will be going to an empty structure. Then, time to try and decide the best way to deal with the house. Fix it and sell it? Sell it as is? Deal with it another way? Lots of further decisions to be made.
Through all of this I have had some very emotional times. Obviously some sadness, but the happy thoughts tied to some of the items, the joy in finding things I remember from early childhood as well as later in life. Then, sadness again as reality of the losses hits again. But, through the ups, the downs, the happy and the sad Christ has been there with me. He undoubtedly made sure that I came across some of the things that brought happy thoughts when I was feeling down. He was with me giving comfort during the challenging times. Some periods of loneliness when those I thought cared for me, and would be there to support and help me, failed to do so. Times when many loved ones would inquire, but not help with what was a pretty overwhelming task. Essentially being abandoned by those who had promised to always be there.
Yet, no matter how I was treated by those I expected more support from, God never failed me. He was there, ALWAYS. There were Bibles, some my mother’s, some my grandmother’s, grandfather’s and a few, I don’t know whose they were or how there got there. I would always take a moment when I found one of the Bibles, hold them, flip through the pages and find passages my mother or grandmother had underlined, highlighted or some other way annotated that obviously carried special meaning for them and many, many times the verses I stumbled on had a message that I needed at that particular moment; messages of comfort, peace, joy, reassurance, mercy, grace, forgiveness and many other types of messages that spoke to me and where what I needed to hear at that time. There were some very dark times emotionally, hurt from losing them, anger and hurt by those who I never expected to do so abandoned me, bitterness about that, and a variety of other things, very dark times indeed. Feeling overwhelmed, betrayed, abandoned, alone and during those dark times is when God reached out to me and reminded me that regardless of what I had done wrong, He had never left me. He was always there, waiting patiently until I called to Him.
I don’t write these things about feeling so hurt, angry, bitter, and sad during that time looking for sympathy or to try to cause guilt in others. No, I write about it to glorify my Heavenly Father that was there, my comforter, my peace giver, my salvation. I write to say that despite all the despair I felt, He was ready to take all those negative feelings from me and carry them for me. Praise the Lord for His mercy and grace!
3 Blessed [be] God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Let, I pray thee, thy merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to thy word unto thy servant. Psalms 119:76
Sing, O heavens; and be joyful, O earth; and break forth into singing, O mountains: for the LORD hath comforted his people, and will have mercy upon his afflicted. Isaiah 49:13
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Psalms 23:4
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
This next verse means a lot, it was one that was marked in my grandmother’s and my mother’s Bibles. It is a message that we ALL need to hear at one time or another. I would say that all of John chapter 14 is a great message. But, there are so many great messages of comfort, peace and hope in the Bible.
16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;
17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.
18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
Yes, despite my failures, my hurting, my anger and bitterness, Christ never left me. He was there, waiting for me to let Him comfort me. What an awesome God we serve.
Lord, I praise You and glorify Your Holy Name. I thank You for the comfort and peace that You give me and how You mercifully forgave me my sins. I thank Jesus for the sacrifice and suffering He endured to redeem me. I thank You for taking the burdens I was carrying and replacing them with Your peace and joy. I thank You for giving me the ability to forgive those who treated me wrong. I ask that You give those I have wronged over the years the ability to forgive me as well. I pray in the name of Jesus that You continue to work in my life, to help me better learn how to seek You and know You and the heart of Christ. That You give me the ability to reach others and be a proper vessel for You. Please draw all loved ones to You that they know the peace, comfort, joy and forgiveness that awaits them. Teach us all Your will and way that we follow You as You wish us to follow.
Thanks so much for Your time today. I hope all have a blessed weekend and have a chance to be a blessing to someone else.