Desperation.

I was thinking about my life and reflected on times that money was tight. Living paycheck to paycheck and not keeping up with bills. I have at times worked extra jobs to try to make enough money to pay bills and it was a struggle. Get up early and go to work, get off one job and go to the second job and when I got done there head home and sleep a few hours before starting all over again, barely getting by and doing without a lot of things I could have used in order to provide for the family. It was tough but due to circumstances I was desperate and willing to do whatever I needed to do in order to make ends meet.

As I thought about how I was struggling then and needed the money I think about some jobs I took out of desperation; working places and doing jobs that I never would have thought I would have considered likely that I do. I found myself taking a variety of part time jobs in addition to my full time job. I did work that was terrible to even consider. Literally digging ditches, working in or around hog houses, other jobs dealing with people that were not the type with whom I would associate, alcoholics, drug abusers and other well, unsavory types. Right or wrong I thought I was better than the type of person that would do such things but there I was, doing exactly what I thought I would never do with people whom I held in low regard, at times I had mocked those people and here I was working with them. But, I was desperate……or at least thought I was desperate with a wife and child I had to get money for expenses. I did not know anything about food stamps or other government assistance so I did things I thought beneath me to get myself into a better situation. I struggled, I worried, as I said, I compromised myself and associated with people that were not the type I would associate with, all due to desperation.

As I thought about that, how much I wanted to try to make things better, how I was willing to be around people that I would never have associated with at all, just to try to make a better life because I needed more money for bills and such, I realized I had compromised myself to try to make things better. That caused me to wonder how many people compromise themselves to try to get by, earn money or get what they think may be a better life. Some suffer right along and never compromise themselves as they struggle, others repeatedly compromise. But, one thing I should know is that He did provide and I was able to find some extra work to help pay bills.

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:19

As I reflected further, I realized that I was also sort of reaping my own reward for belittling or mocking those people, whether literally or possibly only in my mind. I was being judgmental and I needed to learn some humility. Boy, does God know how to teach us humility.

[Let] nothing [be done] through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.  Philippians 2:3

Then, I thought more about times I was doing fine, but desperately wanted something, so I would spend more than I should have to get it or do it. I wanted to go fishing or hunting so I would ignore things that were more important, chores at home and such. When I was in high school I would desperately want to do something and would leave homework undone. I ignored responsibilities because I desperately wanted to do something “fun.” I talked in one post previously about blowing off a friend I was supposed to meet so I could run around with other guys that were part of the “cool crowd” and I desperately wanted to be considered one of the cool guys.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14

This doesn’t necessarily mean people that don’t believe in Christ, but also people who may believe that He is the Son of God, died and was resurrected, but still intentionally live in a way that is not pleasing to God.

Sometimes desperation isn’t due to hardships, suffering or otherwise actually needing something, but can be related to a person’s wants. To be honest, many times things I thought I NEEDED were only things I wanted. I have seen people that, like I mentioned in the post about black Friday, behave horribly and do anything to others to get that one thing they “desperately need” for Christmas. Back stabbing, talking terribly about people. It is sad.

But, real or perceived, desperation causes people to do a lot of things that they normally would not do: treat others in ways that they would never have treated them otherwise, tolerate far more from some to obtain what they “Desperately” want, take risks they shouldn’t take, ignore responsibilities and any number of what would otherwise be considered bad judgement.

Another thought is that the tough times happen and if we let Him, He will use those times to strengthen us. He also gave me opportunities to learn to trust Him more, opportunities for better jobs and the desire to get my education so I could have an even better life in the future. He helped me get through that all no matter how bad I thought times were, no matter how desperate I became, HE DID NOT FAIL ME and Christ carried me through and is leading me to where He wants me in life. I may have done things that did not please Him, I may have strayed from the path He had planned for me, but He still was with me.

Know ye that the LORD he [is] God: [it is] he [that] hath made us, and not we ourselves; [we are] his people, and the sheep of his pasture.   Psalms 100:3

 

Lord, I praise Your Holy name and thank You for seeing more in me than I saw myself and for helping me through so many difficulties in life, many I created for myself, but Your love and presence saw me through. I thank You for the difficulties that helped shape me into the person You desire me to be and that brought me to the place You want me to be for Your glory. I ask in the name of Jesus that You continue to help me improve my Christian walk. I pray for those who feel the desperation as I did at times, due to finances, marital problems, job issues, poor health or any other areas of concern for them that they lean on Christ to help them through and give them the strength and assistance they need to get through the hard times they feel they are facing and show them how to know You and Your will for them in dealing with their hardships. Please draw my family and loved ones to You and help them come to know You and Your plan for their lives. I thank You for my salvation that Christ paid for through His suffering and death, through His defeat of death when He was resurrected.

Amen

 

Thank you all for your time. Please have a blessed day and try to be a blessing to others.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements