Buyer’s remorse

car lot

My daughter and son in law were in need of a new car about 2 years ago. They wanted a newer used car rather than a brand new and had been searching on line for quite a while. They finally narrowed down the search to 3 or 4 different models and were taking their time, looking to see what they could find that was what they were looking for at the time. They found a couple dealerships a couple hours from here that had several different cars that they felt were good options so they went to look and that evening came home with a new car. But, it was a completely different make and model than any they had considered. It was a nice looking car, drove well, mileage wasn’t too bad and price, was a little less than the others they were considering, so they bought it. I asked my son in law and he said they had looked at and driven several cars that day and then the salesman at one dealership wanted to show them this particular car. He told them all the wonderful features and how it was a great deal and better car than any of the others they had looked at so far. They drove it and liked it, well my daughter really liked it, the son in law was not that thrilled about it. They really didn’t know much about that particular model. They had not researched it to see if it had been subject of multiple recalls, if there were any consumer reports about frequently reported problems with it. But, they went ahead and started some negotiations with the salesman and ended up purchasing it. In a couple months they noticed a slight problem with driving it at certain speeds where it had a slight vibration. They had the tires checked, some uneven wear, slightly out of alignment, but the shop here couldn’t do it as it required special equipment to do the alignment and the only place that could do that was the dealer. So, 2 hour drive each way to get it aligned, with the cost being far more than what it would have been locally. But, it seemed to drive better. Then, a few weeks later, issues with the brakes. Hmmm, no one locally stocked or could order the parts, so ordered from the dealer, who also said that there was a special tool needed to remove the calipers to replace the brake pads, which they had to order as well. Fixed that and all okay, until some issues with the rear axle which required repair at the dealership and while it was covered by the warranty, that required a lot of discussion with the dealer as, after the repair was done, they said the manufacturer informed them it was not a warrantied repair. They discussion went back and forth, finally the company agreed to cover the repair. Since then, there have been other issues and both have expressed regret over the purchase since after they started having issues with it they did the research and found that the problems they had were common and usually required work at the dealership. Some covered under warranty, some wasn’t covered.

Sometimes I would help my son in law with the repairs and he would complain about the need to work on the car and if my daughter was in the garage she got very defensive about it. Saying things like, “Well, that could happen with any car.” “It wasn’t that expensive to fix it.” and otherwise being very defensive about any criticism about the vehicle. This happened every time someone said anything even slightly negative about the car. She would argue how wonderful the car really was and the little things weren’t that bad and most of the bigger things were covered by the warranty (although, that was not always true.) My son in law told me recently that he had misgivings about buying it but still, thought it was going to be ok. My daughter really wanted that car but now tells us that within a couple months of buying it she was having some significant regrets, she was having buyer’s remorse about buying it without getting to know more about the car and not taking time to do any research about it.

There have been times I have had buyer’s remorse or regrets about many things. Usually it was when I didn’t take time to really evaluate the potential purchase; Cars, houses, power tools, etc. But could apply to different jobs I accepted over the years. Usually, when I bought something that I kind of knew better than to buy without looking into it closer or taking the jobs I was uncertain about I would never admit to it, pride got in the way and I didn’t want people to know that I had messed up so I had to act like I was thrilled with the car, house, whatever, even it I really wanted to get rid of it. The list is endless and every time I did something a certain way without full thought or purchased something on impulse or without fully researching things and considering options, whether that be continue to drive my current vehicle or choices between brands of power tools and such, I almost always came to regret getting in too much of a hurry and not doing a little more research and comparisons between brands and options.

One’s actions often bring undesired results, one fails to consider all aspects and makes a rash decision and acts on that decision and then, over time they realize it was a mistake. God doesn’t want us to make uninformed or poorly informed decisions about life, whether that be major purchases, significant career choices, or any number of things. One should, as a Christian, approach all things not only with careful consideration, but with prayer, patience and a willingness to do without something until it is clear that one is following God’s plan.

35 Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.
36 For ye have need of patience, that, after Heye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

Hebrews 10:35-36

 

5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

 Proverbs 3:5-6

 

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.  Matthew 6:33

He wants us to seek Him before worrying about what decision we should make and if we do, He will reward us and guide us. He will protect us from our own bad decisions, IF WE SEEK HIM and let Him do so.

While we all make bad decisions with which He was likely not pleased; whatever actions we took, purchases we made, etc; it is more displeasing to God if we fail to correct whatever error was made. He is patient and won’t forsake us, but will remind us repeatedly that we made an error that caused some sort of division between He and us.

9 Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him.
10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things [done] in [his] body, according to that he hath done, whether [it be] good or bad.

2 Corinthians 5:9-10

But, regardless of poor decisions, made without seeking guidance from the Lord, He loves us and will forgive us, He will help us correct our mistakes and set us on the path He desires. We need not live with remorse for bad decisions, we can correct mistakes and let Him help us make the correct ones in the future.

 

Lord, I praise Your Holy Name and thank You for the instructions You give me. I know I have a lot to learn. I am at a point where I am making some significant decisions and I pray in Jesus Name that I remember to seek You first and let You guide me as I do so. I pray that You show me what You would have me do. Draw me closer to You, show me, and my loved ones, Your will and way for us. Show us all the errors we have made that we may correct them, show us the correct path before we take a wrong step. I ask that You work in the hearts and minds of loved ones to draw them closer to You that they may seek and be given the forgiveness and salvation You will give.

Amen

 

Thank you all for stopping by today. It’s labor day and I, unfortunately, have to work. But, I pray all have a blessed day, and that you bless someone else as you enjoy your holiday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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History

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I have been asked on a few occasions why I dwell in the past. I must say, I don’t dwell in the past, but at times think about it because as it has been said, “those that fail to study the past are doomed to repeat it.” I consider things from the past, what I did right, and what I did wrong so I can learn about doing the right better and try to avoid doing the wrong again. As far as the wrong goes, I try to understand how I acted that was not right, or if I did not understand another’s words or actions, I try to understand how I misunderstood things. For some reason that I don’t understand, there are people who don’t give any consideration to their past mistakes and end up making the very same mistake again. Once is plenty, twice I am a slow learner, but if I make the same mistake 3 or more times, well, I am not trying to learn at all.  I gotta say, I prefer to make no mistakes. But, that would not be human but I sure don’t want to make the same ones over and over. So, I consider errors, mistakes, sins, some are only errors, others are mistakes and sins. I wish I could say I will never sin again, but there will be mistakes, unintentionally, but they will occur. I just have to try hard to avoid them.

History is important, it makes us who we are, good, bad or for most of us, somewhere in the middle. I want to use my history to be more on the good end of the spectrum and less in the middle.

God forgives us our past sins, all we have to do is come to Him, believe in Christ’s sacrifice, be repentant and ask Him to forgive. It is that simple. But, that doesn’t mean He wants us to blindly proceed into the future and repeat those sins because we forgot them. He doesn’t want us to dwell in the past, but He doesn’t want us to forget either. There are lessons to be learned so I try to look back so I can move forward.

 

For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope. Romans 15:4

 

The thing that hath been, it [is that] which shall be; and that which is done [is] that which shall be done: and [there is] no new [thing] under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9

 

Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.

1 Corinthians 10:11

 

God wants us to learn from our mistakes, to become better people, better Christians. He doesn’t want us to LIVE in our mistakes, but to try to avoid repeating them.

 

Lord, I praise Your Holy name and thank You for all the blessings you have given me. I thank You so much for bringing me back to You, redeeming me, forgiving my sins and giving me the salvation that Christ paid for on the cross. I ask in Jesus Name that You help me learn from my mistakes to become a better Christian and servant for Jesus. Help me learn how to seek Him and know Him. Help me have the heart and mind of Christ. Thank You for the lessons and the guidance from Your Word. Help me better understand how to apply those lessons to my life. I pray that You work in me and my loved ones to draw us all closer to You, show us Your path for us and help us better serve You.

If anyone of the readers has a special need, problem, concern or other issue in their life I pray You help them, comfort them and move in their life to help them with their problem.

Amen

 

I thank you all for stopping by today. I don’t normally say much on the following, but all have an open invitation to send me a message if they feel the need. Please, if anyone has a need, problem, or issue they want to discuss, send me a message. I may not have the answers, but I can do my best to help you find where to get the help you need with your issue.

I pray you all have a blessed day, and are able to bless at least one other person.

 

 

I’m slowly getting smarter, but I wish I was wise.

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When I was about 10, working on some long division homework my dad walked behind, looked over my shoulder and pointed at one problem and said, you might want to double check that, I think you forgot a step. Well, I looked, and he was right. I had forgotten to carry a number over and my solution was wrong. I fixed it, and being at an age where I still thought my parents were brilliant, I asked how he got so smart. Now, at my age now I realize that part of the reason he just looked and knew it was wrong is, despite my thinking it was difficult, it really wasn’t and he had done far more complicated mathematics over the years. But, he paused a moment and said, “Well, I am pretty smart about some things, but I wish I was wise instead.” At that age, I didn’t know there was a difference so I asked what he meant. He quoted someone, at this point I can’t remember who, but he said, “A smart man learns from his own mistakes, but a wise man learns from the mistakes of others. If I am smart, its because I made mistakes. Now mistakes are better off not being made, but what is really a tragedy is if you make them and don’t learn. Otherwise, you make the same mistake over and over.” I sort of understood then, as well as a 10 year old could, but over the years, that statement has progressively made more and more sense.

The same logic is applied in medicine. We try to learn from mistakes as well as successes. We try to figure out what was done right, and what was done in less than an optimal way. Maybe not wrong, but there may have been a more right approach. Meetings are held to review various medical cases, focus on those with unexpected complications or outcomes. Depending on the hospital, which group of doctors, etc, these may be monthly or quarterly. But the general way they are held is a group of similar providers, family practice, pediatricians, surgeons, etc. meets, they have a certain number of cases to review. Usually submitted by the doctor who had been taking care of the particular patient. Identifying information is redacted, but the overall case, medical conditions, treatment, changes in patient condition, changes in treatment, etc are presented. Everyone takes notes and then after the case is fully presented, people start discussing it. The first time I went to one as a student, it seemed almost like a roast, like the provider that presented the case was attacked. Yet, he or she sat there, not getting upset, defensive or angry. They were trying to learn, EVERYONE there was trying to learn. Why? So that people would either get a chance to become smart or wise. Learn from their own mistake, or those of others. The information is picked apart, labs, xrays, each note, each medication to see if there was a gross error, a minor mistake, or if it was just one of those cases that no one could have treated successfully. No other treatment would have made a difference in the end. Sometimes, the presenting provider does feel somewhat attacked, you can see some start to get defensive. Once that occurs, if they don’t take a breath, realize it is a learning experience and put their ego in check, no one learns. I have never seen anyone get up and leave, they realize they need to learn from the case, so they hang in there. Once that case is over, the next one begins. Each taking the hot seat, that, by presenting the case they chose, is of their own making. But each provider there wants to get smarter or wiser. No one likes to be the one being scrutinized, but each takes their turn, each gets to scrutinize not only themselves, but the others. Its about learning to be better at their jobs, better at helping people.

I try to apply this approach to learning on my life in general, at work, at home, and in my Christian life. I want to know how to get smart or even better wise if possible. I look back at various experiences, the good and the bad. I reflect on my actions and my reactions to things. What did I do in a certain situation that was the absolute most right way to do it? What times did I do something less than perfect, or maybe down right terribly wrong? While I would love to only look and say, I did this, and this and this, just right, and pretend no wrong, no mistakes. I know that is not reality. And, like with my grandson, I learn better by figuring out my mistakes and adjusting my ways to avoid making the same mistake again. There may be some, or many, that prefer to avoid looking at their mistakes, I find that I do myself a huge disservice when I do that. I don’t like admitting mistakes, I don’t like feeling I have flaws. But, only if I can identify those mistakes can I correct them. What have I done, how, why, when, etc that hurt or could hurt, my Christian walk?  What behaviors have kept me away from Christ, or would possibly cause me to backslide?

I will be very honest, I DO NOT LIKE to scrutinize myself, I often don’t like what I see when I take an objective look. But, when I see differences in me now, compared to a week, or a month ago, I am glad I do that. It has helped me. I, unfortunately, will make more mistakes. I don’t plan to do that, I don’t want to do that, but it is part of being human. When it happens, I will try to reflect, compare to other instances, see what about each thing was done better, or worse, and try to take the right actions from each, see what the scripture says. Find the things others have done, how it tells me Christ wants me to act and apply what I learn, so eventually, if in similar circumstances in the future, I won’t repeat the mistakes.

4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
5 They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them.
6 We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error.
7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

1 John 4:4-10

So, I challenge all, myself included, to not think oneself smart or wise, try to find all the flaws, the spirits of error as once you see them, you can fix them and you will be better for having done so. I wish I could say I have finished learning about me, but that will be a never ending task.

Lord, I worship Your grace and majesty. I praise You for all that You are. I know I am flawed, have made many mistakes, and I thank You for the forgiveness of those sins. I thank You for the gift of Your Son, Christ, to take the burden of my sins. I ask that You help me better understand the mistakes, so I can avoid them in the future. Help me better seek You, and the perfect grace You provide. I ask You work in the hearts and minds of loved ones. Those who know You, draw nearer, those that do not, work in their hearts that they will be saved. I ask You continue to show me Your plan, help me better prepare myself for Your way in my life.

Amen

 

Once again, I thank you all who make it this far. I hope all have a blessed day, and are able to be a blessing to others.