The work continues

digging

 

Well, In the morning, I have a dentist appointment, and if anyone read or remembers the post about dentists, you will recall I am terrified of going to the dentist. It is just a cleaning and check up, but that still causes a lot of stress for me. After I get done there, I am heading back to the home town to try to finish up things to prepare for the estate sale to settle my parents’ estate, likely spending most of the week, if not all of it, up there. Although I have mostly finished digging through all the boxes there is still a few things to sort out, it has been trying to say the least. SO very many memories in that house, some are good, some are great, some happy, some sad.  Many of the items have memories attached as well. The different knick knacks my mom loved to have around, the musical instruments that she played, her records, CDs, cassette tapes and the seasonal decorations. She liked to decorate for holidays but none more than Christmas, some older decorations that we had when I was very young, some she bought later, little dancing Santas, strings and strings of lights, some in shapes of holly, some like reindeer, santa, or spelling out Peace, Joy, Christmas and other words. She always loved decorating for Christmas more than any other holiday. I see the various decorations and remember them hanging on the walls, doors, tree or set up outside and hear the Christmas music playing in my mind and for a while, I am right back at that time in life, things are sweet. But, then reality hits that and the bitter comes. I choose to focus on the sweet though.

I have mentioned before how bitter sweet it always is when I work up there. Thinking about the happy times, missing them and wondering about my future. Getting this close to having the sale is somewhat relieving, but somewhat disconcerting as the things will be gone and I will be that much closer to having the house ready to sell as well. That will be the last of the things from their estate that I will sell. I have some of their things I kept for memories, etc. But, the big ties to those physical reminders will be gone. The memories I will always have, but for some reason, it feels like selling the things will let them slip away easier. Even though I know that the material things are not the memories and I will always have the memories.

I thank God daily for the parents He gave me and glad for the time I had with them. I thank Him for helping me deal with all the estate issues and look forward, somewhat anxiously, to completing the tasks. I also know that they are rejoicing with Christ this very moment and I look forward to joining them in the future.

Through the emotionally difficult times, even when I wasn’t serving Him, Christ was there with me, comforting me, helping me get through the loss and all that has followed, but it surely has become much easier walking with Him. Praise Him for His faithfulness and joy He gives.

 

15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.
16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;
17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.
18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

John 14:15-18

 

But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. John 14:26

 

Lord,

I praise You and worship You. Thank You for my parents and the comfort You have given me since they left to be with Christ. I ask for Your continued help during the preparation for the estate sale and ask that You help make that go smoothly when it is underway and after that is completed I  pray in Jesus name that You guide me and show me Your way ahead for me. Make me sensitive to Your will for me. Please work in my heart and the hearts and minds of loved ones to draw us all to You so we may follow You.

Amen

 

I hope all have a great day and remember to Praise Him and thank God for all your blessings, and bless others as you can.

 

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You can’t hide from you

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I am up and the home town again for several days, finishing up the last I need to do to prepare for my parents’ estate sale and not surprisingly, I sometimes run into people I know and I am almost always amazed at peoples’ behavior. I know a lot about behavior since I deal with people a lot and it is part of my training. It is almost universal that if someone is guilty of something, ashamed of their actions, owes someone money for instance and has not paid them back, borrowed a tool and either broke it or never returned it, or in some other manner did you wrong they try to avoid you. There are people that either borrowed money from my dad, or got groceries on credit when he had his store and never paid him and they do that to me, they are still ashamed, and my dad has been gone for 4 years.

The other day I had to run some errands, I parked and as I walked towards the door at the store, I glanced over and saw someone that, well, to be kind to them and their behavior, was far less than kind in their treatment of me and that is putting it mildly. But, as I was walking I was just of sort of looking around and saw them. They saw me and almost immediately, looked down at the ground, turned away slightly before lifting their head back up, trying to look toward me but they were unable to make eye contact. I have had this before, but it always amazes me to see it happen. So many people, if ashamed of something they have done, will do almost anything to avoid eye contact. The behavioral aspect of that is that if the people make eye contact, there is a greater chance that the other will possibly try to initiate a conversation and the one that owes them money, or whatever they feel guilty about, want to avoid that because they have to face their own misbehavior, almost like if they and the one that was done wrong don’t talk, they aren’t really guilty. They essentially try to hide from you and when they can’t hide, they look away. I have had people that owed me money that I have almost bumped into at the grocery store going one direction in an aisle, coming towards me, and then they abruptly turn around and go the opposite direction, afraid to face their guilt. The avoidance doesn’t make the wrong go away, it doesn’t make either of them think that whatever is wrong did not happen, both are aware perhaps instead of owing one money,  they were talking about them, or perhaps stole something, broke something, whatever it may be, but both know and avoiding does not change things. Sometimes, the one done wrong is hurt by the actions and prefers to avoid the interaction as well, but for me, I have forgiven them. I don’t approve of their actions and to be honest, they know that they were wrong, but I cannot control others I can only control me and my response to the maltreatment. But, they know the wrong they did, to me or to others, and are ashamed to face that fact. Humans tend to feel that if they avoid the interaction then they don’t have to acknowledge what they did, and if they don’t acknowledge it, they don’t have to apologize or otherwise own up for their actions, avoiding facing the sin, the maltreatment, and by that action, will not apologize or ask forgiveness.

I have been on both sides of this type of interaction, when I was younger, maybe I had been drinking or doing something else I shouldn’t have done, I would try to avoid eye contact or other interaction with my parents. Sometimes they knew, sometimes they did not. Maybe I stayed out past curfew, got bad grades or something, but trying to avoid it did not change whatever wrong I had done, it actually added to it because one cannot move forward when they are carrying baggage for misdeeds or worse, continuing in their wrong actions. When I had a bad grade and got a progress report, one of my parents had to sign the report, eventually, if that was not turned in signed, the school would mail one to the house so it didn’t make the issue nonexistent, it was just a weak attempt on my part to avoid my responsibility and due to that, unable to try to make things right. In the past when I have been the one that was wronged, I would sometimes try to avoid interactions due to either anger or desire to spare the other person embarrassment. Yet, my avoidance did not change things either. As I wouldn’t go to church when I knew I was sinning, thinking by not going to church I did not have to admit to God I was sinning, but HE KNEW.

But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out. Numbers 32:23

 

I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah. Psalms 32:5

 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

 

He knows our sins. We can’t hide or pretend they don’t exist regardless of how we try and failing to confess our sins simply serves to increase our shame and guilt.

 

Oh my precious God, I praise You for Your sacrifice of Your son to provide me my salvation and the forgiveness of my sins. I have confessed my sins to You and no longer am sinning. I know at times I will stumble, and I pray that You help me avoid the stumbling but also know that if I truly when I come to You and confess any sins in the future that You will forgive me again. I thank You that I no longer need to try to hide my sins because You have cleansed me of them and washed me in the precious Blood of Christ. Help others to know that forgiveness from You for their sins and turning away from sin will give them salvation as well. I ask You to use me to help reach others that they may follow You and let You have Your will in their lives. I ask that You use me to help bring my children to You that they may have salvation and deliverance from sin. I ask that You continue to help my faith grow and to help me have the heart and mind of Christ.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

 

Thank you all for stopping by, please, if you see someone you did wrong, don’t run and hide, face them, confess and try to make amends, apologize and ask forgiveness. If someone has done you wrong, then forgive them, whether they apologize or not. Both things will bless you. And, after you are blessed, be a blessing to someone else.

James Chapter 1

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While between meetings at a hospital yesterday I walked into the chapel. Figure a quiet moment with God. Make sure to talk to Him and let him know that whatever becomes of the current circumstances, job search and all, I was putting it into His hands. I prayed a little about some of the issues (yeah, I know He was aware long before I spoke the words) as well as how much progress He has made in me, making my faith stronger, giving me better understanding, helping me grow in Christ through all the various pit falls of life.  After I was done, I saw there was a Bible on a stand and walked up to see, cause, well, it was there and maybe God was gonna have something for me on the pages to which it was opened so I checked it and found that was opened to James 1 and I read it.

2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

James 1:2-8

Yes, the Lord does speak to us or give us blessings through the day, if we take time to look for things. I usually just walk by the Chapels. Not that I have an aversion to them, but usually busy and don’t have time to stop, but, yesterday, time to spare so I went in. I have been dealing with some trials. I have always had trouble with being patient, always in a hurry for things and have gotten better of the years, but still I need to be better about it. I have been praying for wisdom, for more faith, to help me be stronger with my belief and that He help my unbelief. He has improved all those areas in my life and Christian walk. It is nice to have the reminders from Him that He knows where I need help and He will continue to work with me as long as I try.

Praise Him for the reminders that the faith and patience is only improved through the trials of life. That He will give us Wisdom and make us stronger in faith.

 

Lord, Praise You for Your reminders to me that You have lessons for me and use the trials of life to teach me patience and to help my faith grow. I give all things to You and pray In Jesus Name that You will have control in all ways and You will place me where You plan me to be and will use me how You have planned. I thank You for the many blessings and the opportunity to grow in Christ. Please help me learn better how to seek You and know the heart of Jesus. I ask You draw my loved ones to You and work in their lives as well.

Amen

 

Thank you all for your time. Have a blessed weekend and please seek the chance to be a blessing to someone else.

 

 

 

 

Revolving Door

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I saw a movie where a bunch of kids were playing at a hotel and went into the revolving door, well, it seems none really knew how one worked and they just kept going round and round. When they tried to get out of it, they ended up back in the lobby where they started. As I watched, I thought about the foster children my parents used to deal with at times. They started being foster parents when I was 14 and many of the children would be there for anywhere from a few hours to months or more. Parents or others in the home were physically, sexually or emotionally abusing the children and most of the children eventually were returned to the homes from which they were removed initially, parent or parents had been through counseling and supposedly had corrected whatever problems resulted in the children being removed. But, after a while things would revert to the same situation as it was to begin with, the children once again placed in foster care and eventually, returned home. The social workers would always be certain that the children were going to a better home than from which they were removed, but eventually one would see that they went back to the same thing they had been living with previously.

I recently ran into one girl (now woman) who was one of those foster children that got into that revolving door pattern. She would be home, removed, placed with my parents, after a few months back home for a few months, over and over. She did pretty well with my folks, usually kinda rocky start but after a couple weeks she straightened out, did well there, in school, my mom would take her to church and the girl did great. Then, back home, and repeat, over and over. Now that she is an adult, that pattern continues, she has married and divorced the same guy 3 times, he was mentally/verbally abusive and apparently did slap her once or twice. After the last time she divorced him she met a guy, married him pretty quickly, and, almost as quickly divorced him because he was like the first man she had married repeatedly. After that, she has been married a couple more times and had several boy friends that based on what she told me, are all similar to her father, a couple of her mom’s boyfriends and all of her ex husbands and ex boyfriends. A couple of those guys just left, no explanation, but she said they had become extremely critical and were much more verbally abusive for a couple weeks, then both times she came home from work and they were gone, taking all of their things and some of hers. She admits that she seems to go right back to the same type of guy. She said they all seem really nice at first, very attentive, give lots of gifts and do a lot to make her feel important, then after a while they start saying things that are sort of compliments, but sort of criticism. One often told her she looked okay in a certain outfit, but really thought she looked better wearing a different outfit a few days earlier. No longer did they compliment, but always gave slight complement followed by the comment that negated it. After a while, the complements stopped but criticism continued. Eventually, they would all get mad about something and become very hateful and mean. Sometimes something she did, sometimes something someone else did, at times all it required was someone else looking at her in some way they did not like, but she always had to deal with their anger. Then, she would realize that they were like the others and get out of the situation. She did say while she understands they are alike and she could see that when she looked back, but for some reason she couldn’t see it at the time. I mentioned that perhaps moving so quickly from one relationship to another, the short dating periods before moving in together or getting married had not given her enough time to get to know the guys and that perhaps she would do well not to jump into a relationship so quickly in the future. I also suggested that she may want to consider actually taking 6 months or a year, longer if needed, to actually get herself taken care of as far as getting right with God, getting any needed counseling and actually learning about herself so she could make better decisions in the future. I told her I would pray for her and for the Lord to work in her life.

The same thing repeated itself often, the kids being in a situation, taken out, returned then after they grew up, they would over and over do the same thing. Out of one bad relationship straight into another. Just like they learned growing up. So sad and my mother saw it happen and it would break her heart. She would always put a lot of effort into helping the children when they were in her house, then see them go back and forth eventually as adults, repeating the cycle. It frustrated her to try so hard to help them, but hours and hours of time, often spending much more than the state paid for the children to be there, costing her and my father effort, time, money and then see it all just be for naught when the children grew up and continued that behavior. Although, there were times, very few, of the children that it did benefit and they have had pretty good lives. Yeah, they carry baggage from their childhood, but ended up doing pretty well as adults. Those were rewarding to see for them.

I once asked her why invest so much time, effort and money into the kids when she knows that a good portion would be right back in the same situation or continue with similar situations when they grew up? She said, “sometimes, you don’t see the impact, but I know I have a good impact on them and even if they do wrong for themselves, they will know the right choices and eventually, make that choice instead of the wrong one. They will remember they have the chance to make their lives better, no matter what, and then, one day, they will do just that and do what God wants them to do and stop living like they are, making the same bad choices over and over.”

That is how Christ is with us. He never gives up on us, no matter how much He has invested in us and how little return, He knows that it does make a difference, makes us better people for having known Him and that He planted a seed that will take root and grow when the conditions are right. He will not forget the seed and when they look for Him, they will find Him and He will be with them and not forsake them.

 

29 But if from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul.
30 When thou art in tribulation, and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the LORD thy God, and shalt be obedient unto his voice;
31 (For the LORD thy God is a merciful God;) he will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them. Deuteronomy 4:29-31

 

20 For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning.
21 For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them.
22 But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.  2 Peter 2:20-22

 

For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief. Proverbs 24:16

 

Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12

 For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off. Proverbs 23:18

 

15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.

Ephesians 5:15-17

 

5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

Proverbs 3:5-8

 

Heavenly Father, I ask You to help those people who are in situations where they repeatedly make the same mistakes, going from bad situation to bad situation. Give them understanding and the ability to discern so they avoid such problems in the future. I especially pray for those in physically or emotionally abusive relationships that you give them comfort, hope and protection. Deliver them from those problems.

I praise You Lord for all the work You have done in my life and I pray in Jesus Name that You continue the work to make me a worthy servant. I am so thankful for Your Mercy and the gift of Your Son who died for my sins and my salvation. Please draw those not saved to You so the may have life eternal and draw us all closer to be the Christians we should be.

Amen

 

I hope everyone has a fantastic day and that you can be a blessing to at least one person today. Thank you for your visit here today.

 

The eyes have it?

eyes

34 Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness.

35 See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness.

36 Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will just as full of light as when a lamp shines its light on you.”

Luke 11:34-36  (NIV)

 

This morning I stopped at a convenience store to get coffee and as I got out my money to pay and looked up at the cashier she said, “OH MY THOSE EYES! YOU HAVE THE MOST GORGEOUS EYES! I bet any women just fall in love with you with one look into your eyes.”

I really didn’t know how to respond other than say thank you as it was a nice compliment. She responded, “ its everything about your eyes, the color is amazing, the shape, a little slanted looking but still wide, your eye lashes are amazing too.” I replied “Thank you.” Again but as I started to turn she said, “You can tell a lot about people by their eyes. There is something about you, you seem to have a little sadness in yours, but you have a love and joy that just, I dunno just shines like a fire, no, that’s not right, they shine but not harsh. Some sort of radiance and glow, happy and peaceful no matter what sadness is there. You just have such amazing eyes. I don’t tell people things like that, I don’t know why I told you. I’m not flirting or anything but I have never seen anybody with eyes like yours. If my boyfriend had eyes like that, so full of love and I dunno maybe peace that it just, wow, makes me feel happier too, but if he had eyes like yours I would be afraid to let him out of my sight besides, I’d want to just look into them all the time. They are piercing, like they could cut right through but still soft and gentle, kind, intoxicating. I feel like I could dive into them.”

Once again, I thanked her. She then said, “How can they have the sadness but still so much, happiness, no more than happy, Joy, like everything is wonderful in your life?”

I said, “Jesus puts the joy there, the love, the contentment and bliss. I have things that I am sad about, all of us do. But He puts far more love than I have sadness.”

She commented that her mom said similar things at times. We talked a little about church, her mom goes, but she doesn’t but her mom nags her to go. I said I thought her mom was right and she should go with her. She said, “Yeah, I think I will.” Hopefully, she follows through.”

I said thank you again and left. But, the interaction made me a little uncomfortable, I could tell she wasn’t trying to flirt and was being nice and it was flattering to hear but for some reason I have never been comfortable receiving compliments. Maybe because I have had instances where I have been complimented and then found the compliments were hollow. Maybe it’s because I have never enjoyed being the center of attention, preferring to be giving attention than receiving it. Perhaps because of prior life and military experience where it’s critical to not be noticed, many of the military operations and missions I participated in required we fit in with the civilian population in various countries with individuals selected, in part, due to physical appearance and language abilities in addition to other capabilities. But, I digress, sorry for the deviation from the intended discussion. But a reasonable side note about attention and either seeking attention or trying to avoid it. Maybe I’ll talk on that on a future post. OH, WAIT, I think I already did, OOPS.   AND….. back to the matter at hand.

Eyes, we all have them, well other than extremely rare exceptions and once upon a time I believed, as strongly as humanly possible, that one’s don’t lie. I still believe it. Maybe it’s a gift of the Holy  Spirit to see more than what is said, maybe we can all do it to one extent or another. But, I have always been able to look into a person’s eyes and KNOW if they were telling the truth or not. If the said they were happy and I looked, I could tell if that was or wasn’t true, at times I have pushed the matter and found out they did have some significant issues going on making them extremely sad and depressed and if nothing else let them talk through things, giving advise if appropriate, but usually just lending an ear. Sometimes I have seen people in pain, physical or emotional, that denied having any sort of pain, but I could see suffering in their eyes and after they admitted it, I would do what I could to help them.

I have seen joy, sorrow, anger, pain, rejoicing, love, hate, emptiness and many other things. And I was never wrong……or I should say that I do not believe I have ever been really wrong, but there have been a few times I questioned if I was right. Did I misread someone’s eyes? I have to say I really don’t think so but sometimes, their actions later seem to say differently than I thought.  So, that leaves me confused, did I misread or are they that good of a liar their eyes don’t even give them away?  Or, was I correct but for some reason their actions are not as they should be at whatever time it caused me to have the doubt?

I sometimes wonder if it just a few that are able to do so or if all can. My mother was really good at it. She could see people and even if smiling and laughing she knew they were covering up something, usually some sort of sadness. She would see someone and comment they had some sort of emotional or spiritual pain or conflict and then tell me or us, depending on who else was there, that she was going to go talk with them and when I was younger I’d get dragged along. She would start talking to them, sometimes they were total strangers at Kmart or Woolco or the mall, it could be anywhere. At first the smiling continued and almost always the person would shake their head and try to smile, but it was never as much. She’d continue talking with them often about random things and eventually say “Are you sure there is nothing bothering you?” They’d again shake their head sometimes more aggressively, trying harder to say no and she would talk a little more and this would go on a couple minutes or longer but eventually when she asked they would finally say, “I do have something upsetting me.” Or another phrase along those lines and proceed to tell her. Man, some of the things they would tell her were shocking. They were in legal trouble, looking at divorce, a girl might be pregnant, someone close died, on and on the list of things goes. So many people I saw this with, so many different problems. She definitely had a gift. After they talked some she made suggestions about lawyers, counselors, etc. the people always seemed relieved and that someone cared enough to actually see the sorrow and listen to them. She impacted tons of people that way. She could even see it in pictures of people she knew, the better she knew them, the more she could see things. I had photos from Iraq, some I had taken, some I had others take with my camera, some that people had taken and emailed me that I was showing my parents. I had the, ummm shall we say, less family friendly photos from combat and medically related photos, etc in separate file because I know that would have upset them, but as I showed them the photos, there was one that was taken shortly after we returned to camp after several hours of intense combat, that was kind of a close up of me and another guy. They had already seen a couple from the same time, we were all unwinding so to speak, laughing and joking about this or that and, nothing close enough for my mother to see me closely and they all looked like we were just a bunch of guys, hanging out, having fun. She actually commented that we must have been having a good time because everyone was smiling and you could tell a couple were laughing. I did at times while we were hanging out. But, when she saw the one picture that was pretty close up, she said, “WHAT WAS WRONG?” I asked what she meant. She said, “Your eyes, there was something wrong that day, something happened, something very bad. What was wrong? Did you get hurt or something? Was someone you know killed? Something happened, something very, very bad.” Well, I gave her a vague answer that, yes, we had been in contact that day for several hours and ye, there were people killed. She said, “I knew as soon as I saw your eyes in the picture, I knew. But, there was more wasn’t there?” Well, I was not going to burden them with other details, as I had killed people that day, seen others killed, some Americans, some Iraqis. I had some close calls, it was the day my back got broken and such as well. She could tell I was reluctant to say more, but said, “I know there was more, but I understand if there are things you don’t want to talk about. I just knew something was wrong.”

It was a gift she had, God gave her the ability to see more in a person’s eyes, not the color, shape, eyelashes or other things like that, but something deeper in the eyes. She used that to minister to people at times and was able to help them, at least a little. As I mentioned, I am able to do it as well, I don’t think as well as she could, but I can. I have, as I mentioned, seen more than people say in their eyes. I have seen the opposite of what people say, I have seen hate, love, joy and sorrow as well. What troubles me is when I see people I know well smiling, whether in person or a photo, but see their eyes and see sadness, guilt, pain, suffering of some kind. Perhaps they or someone close lost someone, or has health issues but there is some kind of suffering. No matter what they say, or how much they deny it, I know what I see, just as my mom could see the same in peoples’ eyes. Sometimes, I can reach out to the people, other times I cannot, but whether I can talk with them or not, I pray for them. Pray that God will help them with whatever it is bothering them, help the pain, sorrow, guilt, whatever they feel, help them address the cause and make things right for themselves and more importantly, with God. Perhaps that is due to the need to spend more time praying, reading the Bible, confess something to God, or whatever other issue may be the cause. I just pray that God help comfort them, show them what He wants them to see and know and they allow Him to work in their lives.

 

But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear. Matthew 13:16

 

1 Now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I would not have you ignorant.
2 Ye know that ye were Gentiles, carried away unto these dumb idols, even as ye were led.
3 Wherefore I give you to understand, that no man speaking by the Spirit of God calleth Jesus accursed: and that no man can say that Jesus is the Lord, but by the Holy Ghost.
4 Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.
5 And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord.
6 And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all.
7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal.
8 For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;
9 To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;
10 To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues:
11 But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.
12 For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ.
13 For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.
14 For the body is not one member, but many.

I Corinthians 12:1-14

 

23 And he turned him unto his disciples, and said privately, Blessed are the eyes which see the things that ye see:
24 For I tell you, that many prophets and kings have desired to see those things which ye see, and have not seen them; and to hear those things which ye hear, and have not heard them.

Luke 10:23-24

The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, Ephesians 1:13

 

22 The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.
23 But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!

Matthew 6:22-23

 

But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

 

He tells us to look inward at people, that the eyes are truly the window to the soul, I can see far more than people say, I can see hurt when they smile, I do not think that I am unique and I believe that there are many that can see the same as I see in others’ eyes. If it is not as common as I think it is, then it is a gift from God and all glory goes to God for any good for anyone that may come out of my seeing things and helping others if I am able to do so.

Lord, I thank You for your mercy and praise Your Holy Name. I ask in Jesus name that I be able to see into others’ souls even better than I feel I do now and that You help me know when and how to help those who are hiding pain and suffering. Give me the words to minister to their needs. I thank You for my salvation and the sacrifice of Your Son, Jesus that gave me my deliverance. I pray You continue to work in my life to help me serve Christ better and to be a better example of Him.  I ask that You help me bring family and loved ones, as well as others, to you.

Amen

 

Thank you for the time it takes to wade through my posts. I hope that something helps someone, either because they are hiding pain, or that it helps someone try harder to see the pain in others eyes and that they are able to help them somehow. I hope all have a blessed day today, and as always, ask you try to be a blessing to at least one other person.

 

 

You are what you eat!

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I have been trying to be more careful about dietary choices, exercising more and such to lose weight and that has been successful, praise God for His help in keeping cravings down. I love sweets so that has been a challenge. BUT, there are other things that can make one gain weight as well. Too much fat in the diet, good food but too much of it, fried foods (kinda too much fat and other ingredients that make it not great) too many sweets, etc. Made me think about how they sometimes say you are what you eat. If you eat unhealthy foods, you become unhealthy and if you make healthy food choices you will be more healthy. In the past, I made unhealthy choices on what I fed my soul. I fed it anger, bitterness, sorrow and pain and, I felt that way. Spiritually and emotionally drained, no joy, only negative feelings. But now, I feed my soul with His word, seeking God, praying, rejoicing and again, to no surprise, I am happy, healthy, spiritually fit. Like my physical health I need to get even more healthy, but I am much more so that I once was and will be getting better as I continue my spiritually healthy diet and working out my prayer muscles. I praise the Lord for the help He has, and is, giving me to keep me on track to not only maintain, but to improve, my  relationship with Him.

The same thing applies to life in general, if one lives with or associates with people that exude hate, anger and bitterness, they become hateful, angry and bitter but if they live with love, compassion and joy they learn to love, care and to be happy.  Oh there will be days that the happiest person has sad things happen but they don’t stay sad. If you feed yourself spiritually, you will be spiritually healthier. Spend time in prayer, reading the scripture and with other Christians at church and elsewhere. You will also be more spiritual in the process, a better servant and example of Christ on this world.

And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.  Revelation 21:6

 

22 And as they did eat, Jesus took bread, and blessed, and brake it, and gave to them, and said, Take, eat: this is my body.
23 And he took the cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them: and they all drank of it.
24 And he said unto them, This is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many.
25 Verily I say unto you, I will drink no more of the fruit of the vine, until that day that I drink it new in the kingdom of God.

Mark 14:22-25

 

Lord, I am always in awe of You and the way You teach me things. I thank You for the lessons. I ask that You help me continue to grow in You and that I feed myself the good food and the water of life that You offer and avoid the things that will interfere with my walk with Christ. Draw us all to You and work in the hearts and minds of my loved ones to show them Your path for them and the way to salvation for those not saved. That all they need do is confess their sins and acknowledge Jesus as Your Son that sacrificed for all our sins.

In Jesus Name, Amen

 

Thank you for stopping by today. Remember to feed your soul with only good. Avoid the negative, if it seems unavoidable, spend more time in prayer and study of His Word. I hope all have a blessed day, and get the chance to bless someone else as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is it God or is it me?

 

 

I wrote about times I sensed God trying to tell me something, trying to “speak” to me in some way. Usually that feeling of need to do something, concern for someone, some how causing me to just feel like something about an issue is just not right and I feel like I should try to speak with someone, or contact them. Sometimes, it’s a feeling that they need to know that all will be okay or that with God by their side, He will take care of them regardless of things. Sometimes, I try contacting those about whom I have the feeling, either directly, by phone, email, text, but somehow try to reach out. Other times, because of issues in the past, one person feeling like the other did them wrong, or if not that for some other reason gets hard feelings for them. Sometimes it may have been a misunderstanding, misspoken words meant well but either said or perceived wrong, another person says things that are not true and cause hard feelings, sometimes one intentionally misleads one about yet another and feelings change because of bad information, perhaps one knows they did wrong and is reluctant to say anything out of embarrassment, pride, vanity, concern they will hear “I warned you.” or similar comment, the possibilities of why one is concerned about trying to contact someone else could be endless but regardless of the reason, due to concerns, fear, about how things may be perceived if any attempt to communicate is made or that one’s feelings are not of God, but the person’s human self wanting it to be that way so I find myself uncertain about what steps to take. The fear I may be wrong is a huge factor, but like it says in the song, fear is a liar, so am I succumbing to attacks by the enemy in having the fear? Is the concern or caution from God trying to help me not make things worse?  There are many reasons for the hesitation. At time, I have hesitated when I was certain it was of God and that created issues that would never have occurred if I had listened to Him. Other times, I have hesitated to make sure it was God and not me and found that it was probably me and I avoided issues. I know there are things I have the same feelings about now, but I have that uncertainty and need to know before acting, or take a different approach.

The only way I know to figure out is through prayer and time with God. If it is of God, then He will make me more certain before I take the steps, IF I take the time to seek Him and His guidance for me. Other situations, I feel that any step I take could compromise things further and make any issues much worse, so for those, I still pray, but ask God to work in the hearts of others to show them the need to communicate and leave it in His hands. The latter is harder at times. Oh, I have the faith He has everything under His control and His plans will come to fruition, but at times, that is difficult. But, I will continue to trust Him, pray that He give the faith I need, have the ability to be patient and wait on Him to do His will and hope that others are sensitive to His guidance for them. Hoping that they get the reassurance that no matter what, there are no hard feelings, that there has been forgiveness from me that has been given for any wrongs and the knowledge that I hope for their forgiveness for any perceived or actual actions that caused hurt. I have no choice but to leave it all in His hands for He is in control and He will work in others lives so they aren’t afraid to contact me or whoever they feel they need to contact.

15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
16 Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.
17 For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.

1 Peter 3:15-17

 

2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

Romans 12:2-3

 

2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

James 1:2-6

 

5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:                                                                     6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.
11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

Hebrews 12:5-11

 

6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
8 Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:
9 Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1:6-9

 

He will try to teach us patience, to remind us we need to talk with him about things to get answers, try to teach us faith, and give us reassurance when it is His will that we have it. So, in the instances where I am not certain, or concerned about potential impact or outcome, I will pray, seek Him, seek His guidance, have faith that God will work things out so all will be as He plans. If I feel burdened about someone I am hesitant to contact, then I will not only pray for the things I mentioned, but pray for the person as well. That whether there is any communication or not, that God take care of them and protect them and have His way in their lives too. That they be sensitive to His guidance.

 

Lord, I praise You and glorify you. Thank You for the mercy and salvation you gave me through Your Son Jesus. I pray in Jesus name that I be sensitive to His will in my life and that I follow His guidance. I pray that friends, family, loved ones and others also be sensitive to His will and way for them. I ask that You move in the lives of family and friends that are not saved, draw them to You. Use me as You need to bring them to You.

Amen

 

I appreciate the visit, I hope all are well and are blessed richly. Please, take time to bless others as well.

 

 

 

 

The Job offer.

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I have been looking for a new job for almost 3 years and while in my career field there are always jobs available and the process takes several months anytime and I was looking for a position in a very specific area and there were none in this area. What have been available have then had changes within the organization so that the jobs were filled by others with the same company, but different clinics that have been sold to other organizations or the people wished to move to the area in which I have been looking but regardless of why, the jobs have not panned out as expected and I have not obtained employment in the desired area yet. At this point I have been dealing with a different organization for almost a year and a half and now I have a tentative offer with good pay, actually great pay, good hours, awesome benefits, but, the timing may not be optimal for this location. If I accept it now, it will still take 3-4 months before I would actually start so perhaps the timing will end up better at that time. I have two other facilities that are expressing a lot of interest but I am about 3 or more months further behind in the process at the other places so I would be looking at 6 months or more before I would start at either of these locations. I have had some other positions over the last 2-3 years that I learned about just a little too late as they were already filled before I heard about them or like the one I mentioned, were filled from other clinics within the same organization.

Due to the behavior of some I am concerned that they would want to cause me problems and any gossiping, negative comment or spreading untrue rumors would cause significant difficulties for me. I have nothing but the love of Christ for those involved and have forgiven the maltreatment including blatant lies, unfounded accusations, threats, distortion of facts and words and other unkind treatment directed towards me. I have no ill will for anyone. I hope that any that feel that I have slighted them in any way, whether great or small, find it in their hearts to forgive me also as forgiveness from God through Christ is what makes our salvation possible.

27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,
28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.
29 And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloke forbid not to take thy coat also.
30 Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again.
31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.
33 And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same.
34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Luke 6:27-38

 

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 6:14-15

So, I will give the situation up to the Lord. I will trust in God and try my best to be sensitive to His guidance. If it is right, I will move forward with that job but if not, I will continue my search as He leads me.

 

My heavenly Father, I thank You for my many blessings; the forgiveness and salvation I have through Your Son Jesus. I ask that You work in me to have the heart and mind of Christ that I may continue to have His love for others and forgive without reservation. I ask that You give me guidance on the position that is currently being considered and that if it is of You, that all be right with the final details, but also that if it is not of You that I sense that, regardless of the attractiveness of the offer I know if it is not of You and that I wait for the job You want me to have rather than one that would not best help me serve You.

In Jesus name I ask these things and that You pour Your Holy Spirit out upon me as I deal with these issues and other in my life. I praise Your Holy Name and ask that loved ones come to know You and that You help me know You and serve You better.

 

Amen

 

Thanks for stopping by and bearing with me as I am thinking about things that are up in the air, possible complications and all the other issues, both good and bad, with which I am dealing. I ask that you take time to offer up prayers that if this be God’s will, that He smooth the path and have His hand on the process to make it smooth and that no one feels the need to persecute me and compromise my ability to do the job if it is His will that I have this particular job.

Thank you.

Do you ever hear God talking to you?

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I often wonder if anyone actually hears God speaking to them in an audible voice. I know He can, and has, done so with Abraham, Moses, Isaiah and others but I have never had that happen. I have felt Him moving me in a way, mentally, thoughts about one thing or another, feelings, burdens, however you wish to describe it but not in an audible voice, or one I just hear in my head like someone talking. Sometimes I get thoughts, gut feelings, concerns or however one would call that sense one gets about certain situations and feel I should do something and when I don’t follow through the thoughts start nagging at me about the issue. More times than I can count at work I’ve gotten that feeling. The patient is there for one reason, maybe sprained ankle or knee pain but one little thing they say or  something I see makes me get a feeling they may have another issue that is unrelated to the main problem that day.  At times I’ve ignored it even though deep inside I should look into the issue that occurred to me only to have patient come in later for the issue I  had the concern about that ends up being a far bigger problem than  the first one.

So, over my career I have learned to listen to that little voice in my mind saying “maybe they are here for the ankle but you need to check on their blood work.” Which  is not normally done, in fact there is no reason to do that in such a situation. Or, a child that parents bring for possible ear infection I’ll get that feeling to also examine for something else. Now, regardless of how busy I am or how bizarre it seems I follow through on those feelings. I can’t remember all the times I’ve had that feeling and with rare exceptions that feeling is correct. Just a few of the more memorable instances are:

A patient was in for a regular follow up, he was a soldier that had been injured during a training accident and required a couple surgeries, physical therapy and a lot of time to heal. He was almost fully recovered and would be getting transferred to a different bad within a few weeks so it was probably the last time I was going to see him. He had gotten the assignment he wanted and going to the base he had wanted to go for several years but instead of being as excited as he should have been he would be expected. He seemed happy.. BUT…something in his eyes and voice caused me to get THAT FEELING. I couldn’t put a finger in anything in particular as why I felt that way or what may have been the issue but SOMETHING needed looked into further so instead of bidding him well wishes and moving on to the next patient we just sat and I asked if there was anything else even though I’d already asked him that question. He said no but I couldn’t feel comfortable yet so we just talked about new job, base, plans and such. I asked about those things and then let him talk and would occasionally nod my head and say hat sounds good, etc. While talking he at times seemed very upbeat and excited but other times indifferent, then a one point when he was talking about how great things were and how all was going exactly how he had planned he paused and said, “Sir, have you ever felt like no matter how perfect things seem none of it matters because things aren’t right, even if you’re getting what you always thought you wanted and life really doesn’t matter?” Ok, nw the alarms were starting to go off and not that little gut feeling. I asked a few more questions and found out he had sent his wife and kids to see his in laws and after done at the appointment with me and one other appointment he was planning to go home and commit suicide. He had already seen his case manager and social worker that day and no one had picked up on it! Those people knew him fat better than I did so they should have noticed something. Regardless, he needed help so, despite being behind in clinic we talked longer and it became obvious he needed far more than I could do for him so I asked if it would be okay if I called mental health to see if someone there would be able to talk with him more. He somewhat reluctantly agreed and I made some calls and as able to get it coordinated, explained to him what was going to happen, which doctor he was to see and walked with him to that office and introduced him to the psychiatrist and left. The psychiatrist called me later and filled me in on things. No big issues but lots of little things had been wearing the patient down. Then added, “even knowing ahead of time he was suicidal I don’t think I’d have picked up on this. How did you know?” Well, I had no explanation other than a gut feeling. He told me that they had s plan for safery and  the patient was not going to be at risk for now and should do great. A few months later I got an email from the patient thanking me and letting me know he was doing well, no longer considering suicide and a little about his family and such.

Another time while working in Urgent Care parents brought in their 4 year old girl for ear pain saying they thought she had an ear infection. She was a beautiful child, smiling and happy.  As I watched her and listened to them something seemed funny with how she moved one arm, just SOMETHING! I did the exam for ear infection and no ear infection present, then examined her right arm closer, definitely weaker than leg and then found the right leg was effected too. I coordinated for a CT scan, having to argue with radiology because they didn’t feel it was necessary but finally gave in. Because of her age she needed to be sedated so she would hold still during scan so I had to call anesthesia and had similar response as radiology but they also gave in and we got the scan which showed a large brain tumor. She was quickly transferred to the nearest children’s hospital and unfortunately I lost track after a few weeks but she’d had radiation treaments, surgery and was getting chemotherapy and seemed to be doing better. But as soon as the scan was don’t i was called about the results and the radiologist said, “I really didn’t think we’d find anything but Wow, good catch!”  The girl had been seen the day before and that provider didn’t find what I did but it was probably there perhaps a little more subtle but it was present. But, that provider did not check further, had I not listened to that feeling she likely would have died in 1 or 2 days at most.

The last I will mention today was a teenager that came for knee and leg pain. That is very common in kids this child’s age, but something seemed, well, odd in how he described it. Not the typical type of pain, no injury he remembered and nothing I could find out about would say it was anything more than maybe growing pains. Nothing on initial exam seemed unusual, then, I looked in his mouth, not something I normally do when they are there for joint pain, but I took a minute, for some reason I can’t explain, to listen to his heart, lungs, abdomen, all of which were fine, and look inside his mouth. Some bruises were there. Well, some foods can cause that, hard foods, Captain Crunch and similar cereals certainly can injure the mouth. But, nope, hadn’t had any foods that SHOULD have caused it. Hmmmm, something off here but nothing I could put my finger on. So, while I normally would not do it, I ordered x-rays and some labs. The report on the x-ray was vague, which is often the case, but there was a comment that there appeared to be decreased bone density, the bones did not look quite right, not wrong, but not right. The lab showed mild anemia, lower than normal red blood cells, but his white blood cell count was extremely low. As I looked it over, I realized that due to what we call the differential, the percentages of one kind of white blood cell compared to the others, this child had leukemia. I arranged for evaluation by Oncology, a cancer specialist, and for follow up the next day by his pediatrician. After he was seen by both they called or emailed and told me they were surprised I had checked those things because clinically, the tests were not indicated, meaning the reason he was there did not typically warrant doing those tests, but because I did, this child was most likely going to do extremely well. I never heard more about him for about 2 or 3 years, then parents came in with a sibling and recognized me. They told me all about him and that he had made what was considered a complete recovery after chemotherapy, radiation therapy and bone marrow transplant. He was still seeing the oncologist and pediatrician and getting blood work and such done, but had been free of cancer for over a year.

I don’t say talk about these things to puff myself up. Now, I know I am a good doctor but I also know I am not the best either. I wish I was, but there are many that are better. My daughter has only been in practice for about 3 years and she is an amazing physician and will get even better with time. Far, FAR better than I will ever be. I don’t say these things putting me down, I feel I am quite a bit better than average at my job, but I know or know of, those that are better. I am certain there are many I don’t know that are better as well. The patients I mentioned had all been seen recently for similar issues or by others that should have picked up on something during the appointment but didn’t. I know one is a better pediatrician than I am at Family Medicine or Urgent care but she missed the correct diagnosis. So, what is it that made me able to find the problem. That small voice, that feeling, that sense that something needed looked at closer. Even though I was not walking with Christ at the time, I believe that God was telling me to check into things closer. He still uses us when we don’t walk with Him, He uses sinners for His good at times. That was the case in these instances. No way would I have picked up on the clues if He had not caused me to try to look into things further. I give God the credit and the glory for all these instances and many others over the years.

But, what about other times I have had the same feelings. Well, sometimes I feel it is God “talking” to me, trying to move me to a certain action, but then have doubts and hold off on acting on those issues. Maybe I get a feeling that I should call or otherwise contact someone, but I don’t, fearing that it may be ME wanting that and that it isn’t from God. Maybe if I try to contact this person or that person they will be upset that I “bothered them” and get angry at me. Maybe others will think I am being nosey or interfering with their lives, perhaps think I am trying to cause trouble. While that would not be the case, if those people feel that way, there won’t be any good to come of the attempts. I am having that feeling now about some people, thinking that they want, or need, to hear from me. Several people in fact: coworkers, friends, family, neighbors, etc. I need to figure out how to tell who NEEDS to hear from me, who WANTS to hear from me and who DOESN’T want me involved in anyway. All are people I care about, but perhaps they don’t, or say they don’t, care about me. HOW does one determine which of those feelings to act on? Different things for each, maybe just a quick hello, I was thinking of you and wanted to see how you were doing. Or, ask if things are okay. Perhaps a feel a particular burden for one person or another and feel like I have an idea about something, maybe someone having issues at work with others but it seems the issue is deeper than work, maybe family problems. I have acted on those at times, trying to not seem to be a busy body, but also trying to help them. One instance was a coworker that was usually pretty easy going, like everyone, they had their moments but for the most part, a good worker who started having a lot of little disagreements with people, nothing HUGE, but still, they were not acting in a manner that is normal for them. One woman I work with was doing that, several days I avoided the topic, didn’t ask anything, just talked about work issues with patients and such but finally, I had to ask, I COULD NOT help it, I had to because the little feeling had become bigger and the longer I delayed, the worse I felt about things. Well, as it turned out, her daughter had started being sick several weeks before, evaluation at first was normal, no abnormal labs or x-rays, but she was getting worse. Then, just a couple weeks before I talked to her they found a slight increase in the liver enzymes, the chemicals that tell if one’s liver is working properly. They looked back at all the other tests and they were normal, but just below the high level to be considered abnormal and when they looked even further back they found that her previous tests had been for a few years at the lower limits of normal. They had an indication it was her liver malfunctioning, failing, but not a cause. Repeat tests showed the enzymes to be even higher and just a couple days before they had discovered that the cause of the liver failure was an herbal supplement that she had started taking shortly before she started to feel bad. It was one that is not uncommonly used for moods that has very mild antidepressant effects. BUT, in a very small number of people that have the genetic predisposition it can cause significant liver problems because of the way their bodies and livers process and breakdown the chemical. Her daughter was at the point that it was not certain if the liver damage was temporary or permanent. If permanent, it would either require a liver transplant or would eventually result in her death. This woman had said nothing to anyone at work. No one had asked her, but a few others had noticed the behavior issues the same as I had noticed but never bothered to ask her about how she was doing, was something bothering her or in any other way showed any concern. I didn’t do that much, just asked if she was okay or was there anything bothering her. She had been bottling all that up, the only ones she had spoken to about it were her daughter, the doctors and her husband but she needed the outlet. I wasn’t walking with Christ at the time, but He still used me. I thank God now I was able to know then that He had a job for me and wanted to use me for someone else’s benefit. I felt bad for her, but she did say she appreciated the time and said it was a relief that someone cared enough to ask her about things. What a mighty, merciful and kind God we serve.

1 And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the LORD appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect.
2 And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly.
3 And Abram fell on his face: and God talked with him, saying,
4 As for me, behold, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations.

Genesis 17:1-4

4 And when the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, Here am I.
5 And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.
6 Moreover he said, I am the God of thy father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. And Moses hid his face; for he was afraid to look upon God.

Exodus 3:4-6

12 And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.
13 And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?

1 Kings 19:12-13

 

Yeah, I will admit, I am jealous of those that God speaks to in the way He spoke to these men and others like them. But, I still “hear His voice” but in a different way. But, what about those times one just isn’t 100% certain you really are feeling God tell you something and instead, perhaps it is just YOU that wants to do it? I was going to go into that now, but this is already a lot longer than I planned, so I will end for now, but address the question in another post to follow soon.

Lord, You are great and mighty, Glorious beyond my ability to understand or find the words to describe You. I praise You and thank You for all You have done for me and others. I thank You for the scriptures that tell me that You do speak to us at times. I pray I am ready, willing and able to hear or feel Your wishes for me. I pray in Jesus Name that You work in my heart to make it sensitive to You and Your will in my life. Work on the hearts of others that they too can feel You in their lives, those not saved, draw to You and those saved, please draw even closer than they are at this time.

Amen

 

Thanks for the visit and your time. I will be posting the follow up post soon, or at least as soon as I am able to understand what He wishes me to say. I pray all have a blessed day, and take the time to be a blessing to someone else as well.

 

Horror Movie

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I am not a big fan of horror movies. One reason is I don’t like being frightened, life is plenty frightening at times already and I figure why try to get frightened just because. The biggest reason though, is knowing that something bad is going to happen to someone and I hate seeing that. Of course, life isn’t the movies and you don’t always have the “bad stuff is gonna happen music” playing to warn you. But, that doesn’t mean one can’t see something bad in the future for people. Sometimes, on of the other characters tries to warn them not to go into a cave, building, room or whatever; not to open a box; not to do something because something bad will happen. AND……they don’t listen and in they go into the basement or wherever and just as expected, something bad happens.

I have at times had “that feeling” that something bad is going to happen, for me or others. If I can figure out what it is, and do something to avoid it, I do if it is me. When it has been others, I try to warn them of the danger, whatever it may be, and hope they take heed. Sadly, many times I haven’t listened to myself and other times, others have not listened either. Then, its sort of a waiting game, just knowing it will happen, sometimes not even knowing what the IT is that is coming. It isn’t easy. There were times in Iraq that while on a pattil or mission I knew something was going to happen. God was telling me and I would try to prepare if I could and everytime I felt that we would be attacked. Thankfully God watched over me. I think about times I have been driving somewhere and feel lead to take a different route then find out there had been a multiple vehicle accident that I could have easily been involved in had I taken the normal route. There were times I got the same feeling when driving and never hear about a wreck but maybe that was because I listened when I felt Him tell me to go a different way.

When the feelings, burden you might say, are about others and I try to warn them to no avail, I worry and, if it seem to be a certainty, I feel some hurt for what they are going to be experiencing. Whether it be some sort of loss of a family member due to death, loss of a job due to the economy from a plant closure, soldiers going into extremely dangerous areas or other personal or emotional tragedy. I pray for the Lord’s protection and comfort for them when the time comes, but that doesn’t ease my pain. It causes sorrow for me to see people go through heartache or suffer harm. Sometimes, the people you try to help not only don’t listen, but get angry at you for caring enough to warn them. Sometimes, one cannot help others but one has to try.

17 Son of man, I have made thee a watchman unto the house of Israel: therefore hear the word at my mouth, and give them warning from me.
18 When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand.
19 Yet if thou warn the wicked, and he turn not from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul.

Ezekial 3:17-19

 

2 Son of man, speak to the children of thy people, and say unto them, When I bring the sword upon a land, if the people of the land take a man of their coasts, and set him for their watchman:
3 If when he seeth the sword come upon the land, he blow the trumpet, and warn the people;
4 Then whosoever heareth the sound of the trumpet, and taketh not warning; if the sword come, and take him away, his blood shall be upon his own head.
5 He heard the sound of the trumpet, and took not warning; his blood shall be upon him. But he that taketh warning shall deliver his soul.
6 But if the watchman see the sword come, and blow not the trumpet, and the people be not warned; if the sword come, and take any person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at the watchman’s hand.

Ezekial 33:2-6

 

14 I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you.
15 For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel.

1 Corinthians 4:14-15

 

We are expected to warn others of danger. One does that out of concern, love, kindness. We cannot, however, make them take heed. When one warns of dangers and is not listened to, it still causes pain to see others suffer in whatever manner but God will comfort we who warn and are not heeded. I pray for those who have not listened in the past, I pray for those who will not listen in the future. I have been he who has not listened to warnings about circumstances, jobs, people, car, houses, and more times and things than I can remember. Knowing me, I will be that guy again in the future at some time or another. It’s a human frailty, at least one or me, that I trust too much and try to believe the best about things. Unfortunately, that has cost me money, time, heartache and more. But, I will continue to trust in the Lord and seek Him and His guidance but try to listen better to Him in the future.

Lord,

I praise Your holy name and worship You for all you are and have done. I thank You for the mercy and kindness You give me. More than anything I thank You for my salvation. In Jesus name I ask that You help me learn to listen better in the future and hear You when you try to warn me, not to deny me things, but to protect me from harm. I ask that You work in my heart to help me better seek You and know the heart of Christ. I pray You work in the hearts and minds of loved ones. Draw us all closer to You.

In Jesus Holey Name, Amen

 

thanks for coming by and taking the time to read my blog. I hope something blesses someone else as much as it did me sorting through thoughts in prayer and study of the scripture. Try to bless someone else today.