I preface my post to say that this is a post Of joy, salvation, mercy and grace of Christ’s love for me and the redemption He gave to me.
Over the last few years I have had many things happen. Some of excruciating pain; some of joy I’d never known and others throughout the spectrum between those extremes that were primarily emotional but some physical. I fell while climbing in mountains and severely injured my neck and had pain, numbness and weakness in my hands and I had to have surgery for that. The fall also aggravated pain from spinal fractures lower in back I sustained in Iraq. I lost my mother and father in less than a years time. I was emotionally abandoned on more than one occasion by more than one person at times I needed them most. One of which I truly never thought would do so. I had sudden horrid pain in one ear and then lost all hearing in that ear which required several difficult treatments that did not help and underwent cochlear implantation surgery to have some hearing returned. I have been lied to, lied about, had false accusations made about me, later to learn through a mutual friend who did not know it was I that was the victim of the sick ploy that my accuser was almost 100% certainty the one that accused me had done so and bragged about setting the idiot up to take a hard fall in a twisted plan to assasinate my character, had my words twisted to discredit me, seen those who should have not believed those lies accept them as truth, I gained and lost things that had more value to me than life itself. I have seen the destruction of my marriage and other relationships through actions of others. I have seen family and loved ones become hateful and bitter towards one another. I have seen those same people steal from my mother in the last weeks of her life as she lay sick and dying. I have had siblings manipulate her at the same time and through deceit stole things of tremendous emotional and some monetary value from me and other siblings.
In the last 8 months I had transferred every dollar I could from my inheritance and other assets that were not mutual property into a joint account and changed beneficiaries on my life insurance policies which was exceeded my income for over 5 years. I was all but guaranteed a job in the area that I had planned to move that, due to significant stress in my life at the time and an inability to focus on the questions due to distracted thinking, the final interview did not go well and the offer was withdrawn. I had gotten legal counsel during this time so that the next steps would happen without any anticipated complications. But, I had not told those impacted yet as I wanted all the pieces in place so things would go as smoothly as possible and to avoid disappointment if there were problems with the job that would not permit the steps to be taken immediately. I planned to tell all those involved of my decision and plans on a particular date and literally 2 days before that day I was given devastating news that shattered those plans and caused the problems at the interview. I have spoken hard truths in an attempt to help protect others caused they I wanted to protect to have hard feelings towards me. I have had more sorrows as well that are far too numerous to mention.
I have had joys as well. My neck issues are resolved; my back pain is improved markedly; I have had hearing restored in my deaf ear; I had love that was beyond anything I had experienced before (until returning to Christ which is absolutely a perfect love,) I had many more joys as well also too numerous to mention.
As I think on all these things, I realize I have lived a human existence, filled with the spectrum of emotions, events, trials, tribulations, joys and pains that all experience at one time or another, not exactly the same, but very similar.
Due to all these things I have been through the gamut of human emotions. I was at times happy, sad, ecstatic, in the depths of dispair all of which are difficult to fully explain as there are some things for which I have no words. Many of these experiences were due to actions of and maltreatment from others. But I do not only fault others, in fact I thank others and fault myself as during those times I was far from blameless in my actions and am equally or more culpable for many of the negative things I experienced and my behavior was very wrong to myself and others.
I do not say these things looking for pity or glory. Most the things I experienced, as I said directly or indirectly, occurred from my actions that were wrong and for that I have confessed those sins to Christ and been forgiven. He has redeemed me and I have my salvation. I have a relationship with Jesus that is far deeper than years ago when I had was walking with Him. I have the love, joy and peace only Christ can give.
I also do not say these things to point fingers at others or with intent to cause others to feel guilt, shame or sorrow. Those who made decisions to do as they did and treated me wrongly need forgiveness from the Lord need only address those issues with Christ. I bear no ill will, hate, anger or contempt for those people. I have the love of Christ for them and long ago forgave them their actions and hope that any that I did wrong or feel I did will forgive me.
All these experiences and many experiences over my entire life had left me bitter, angry, filled with sorrow, self pity and with all manner of other negative emotions. Yet, not inspite of these things but rather because of the trials, tribulations, pain and suffering I came to Christ and am saved. Unfortunately, there is no sinner of which I know that does so in times of joy. No, but as did I, they come to Him for help in times of need and dispare.
I did not enjoy the unpleasant and painful situations and had bad feelings towards many, some guilty of wrong deeds, others not. But, for those who did me wrong and inflicted pain and sorrow beyond my human ability to bear I thank you and bless you. I praise God for the hard times, trials and tribulations. For had those things not occurred I would not be in the relationship with Christ I am at this time.
Some of the most vicious and hateful actions occurred after my salvation by those used by the enemy to try to rob me of my redemption. To those who were used in that way I DOUBLY BLESS YOU! For through those times rather than fall victim to Satan’s attacks my faith and relationship with Jesus was strengthened tremendously!
PLEASE, do not think this is a Oh pity me story. Do not think it to cause others pain or frustration. It is not a self pity party. NO IT IS NOT!
This is a post of JOY and LOVE! I am joyful in my salvation and have been filled with Christ and his love for me and all others!!!!! It is a post of PRAISE for God and His endless love and mercy and for all He is!
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,
5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)
6 And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
7 That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17
21 But now the righteousness of God without the law is manifested, being witnessed by the law and the prophets;
22 Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference:
23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
24 Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:
25 Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;
26 To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.
27 Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? of works? Nay: but by the law of faith.
28 Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law.
10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
No, this I not a post of accusation, hate, pity, sorrow, misery, but of SALVATION through Christ, the Son of God. Through His sacrifice and suffering I am made whole, into a new creature. I am not yet perfect, but He is not through with me yet. PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME!
NONE of the ability to forgive or bless, NONE of the rejoicing, NONE of the comfort and peace is because of me. It is through Christ in me that it is all possible.
My Heavenly Father, I praise Your Holy Name and Your Son, Jesus. I thank You for my salvation, for all the trials and tribulations that lead me to You. I praise You and Christ for the sacrifice and mercy that gave me that salvation. I thank You for the ability to forgive and bless those who helped me get to the lowest place in the valley. I praise You for lifting me out of the despair, anger, pain, suffering and sorrow. I ask that You continue to help me learn how to seek You and to continue helping me learn to think with the mind of Christ. I ask that You draw all to You, especially my loved one. Show them all Your mercy and love and the path to salvation through Jesus. Show them all Your plan in their lives.
In the precious name of Jesus I pray and ask these things.
I will end noting that some of my posts have been misinterpreted, misunderstood and twisted by some. I do not believe that any of those to whom I referred very vaguely read this blog so I would hope all would see that I am not trying to cause anyone to feel guilt. No, it is about the healing power of Christ. I give the descriptions only so others may see His Mercy, Grace and Love. I do not attempt to say that any of this is of me but of Christ.
I thank you all for taking a few minutes to read this post. I pray that God will have something in there for someone besides me and that He use me to help others. Please do your best to be a blessing to at least one other person today.