Have you ever been involved in a conversation, whether in person, phone, text, or email, and the other person said something that just didn’t make sense to you, then make another comment that made you realize they were mad about something, but you really don’t know what they are talking about? That happens to me occasionally, more often than I would like. Sometimes, misunderstandings that are worked out once they give you more information and you are given a chance to discuss things which may have been due to something you said or wrote, sometimes because of something someone else told them. But, sometimes, they don’t tell you why so you are left wondering.
Or, have you been having a conversation, more one sided, because the person is upset or angry, and they just more or less tear into you and get harsh with things they say so you know they are upset, but you don’t know why? They say things that you simply do not understand what those things have to do with anything and when you ask for further information, asking them “What are you talking about?” They get even more irritated and just say something to the effect of “You know what I am talking about!” But, you don’t know. You have no clue whatsoever but, obviously in their mind you do, or should, know. But, as you try to get more information, or respond to things they have said, more accurately TRY to respond, because once they say their piece they say, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” and won’t respond to emails, texts or calls. It is very frustrating to have someone feel it is fine if they say anything and everything they want to say, but won’t even accept a response or try to understand. Even worse when the things they say are hateful. How can one respond to such things?
Well, if you aren’t getting a response, maybe they aren’t even reading your messages, or they have decided that they won’t believe what you say anyway, so they may read the messages, but still won’t respond. Or, after they were so harsh you don’t even try to respond because you realize they have made up their mind and will not even try to understand. Maybe they are attacking you that way because of some guilt they feel and are “gaslighting” you, trying to put the fault on you when they have done wrong. The only thing one can do about such a situation is pray. Pray that God shows you something so you understand what is going on, that He speak to the other person’s heart so they realize they are mistaken and that all are willing to forgive and be understanding about whatever is causing the problem.
I have had this happen recently, being accused of things of which I was innocent, but the accuser really has no interest in learning the truth.
19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
SO, they SHOULD be forgiving and not lashing out, especially when they don’t have the truth and the one they are accusing and are angry at really has no idea of what they are speaking. Which, in one recent conversation I had like this, due to someone telling people untrue things.
10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
I know that it has happened to me due to others words and actions. But, Christ knows the truth and after I have faced the persecution He will be there for me. Regardless of the attacks against me I know I am blessed and that He will reward me.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
And, I know I am confused from not knowing why someone is angry or why people lash out. But through that all, He will strengthen me, strengthen my faith and use all those things to improve me and better prepare me to serve Him. Christ does not want us to be hateful and mean to one another, He wants us to forgive, love and behave to each other as He would be towards us.
Lord, I praise Your Holy Name and worship You for Your majesty. I ask that You help me not be so quick to anger when I hear things when I may not have all the information or have wrong information. I pray You help me not be so quick to judge when I don’t know all the details and that I hold my tongue and not lash out at others in anger. Help me be more understanding, help me seek the truth, help me see the truth and not assume others know about what I speak. I ask in Jesus Name that You help me learn to seek You, seek Your truth and Your way in my life. Please give me guidance and discernment so I know what is from You and what is not. I pray You work in the hearts and minds of loved ones that they may see and hear Your truth as well. Draw us all closer to You that we may be together in eternity.
Thank you all for your time. Once again, I am trying to use scripture to help me understand how to deal with certain situations and how to act whichever side of the situation I am on. I hope that someone derives some benefit from this. Please remember as you go about your day to try and be a blessing to someone.