revolving door.jpg

I saw a movie where a bunch of kids were playing at a hotel and went into the revolving door, well, it seems none really knew how one worked and they just kept going round and round. When they tried to get out of it, they ended up back in the lobby where they started. As I watched, I thought about the foster children my parents used to deal with at times. They started being foster parents when I was 14 and many of the children would be there for anywhere from a few hours to months or more. Parents or others in the home were physically, sexually or emotionally abusing the children and most of the children eventually were returned to the homes from which they were removed initially, parent or parents had been through counseling and supposedly had corrected whatever problems resulted in the children being removed. But, after a while things would revert to the same situation as it was to begin with, the children once again placed in foster care and eventually, returned home. The social workers would always be certain that the children were going to a better home than from which they were removed, but eventually one would see that they went back to the same thing they had been living with previously.

I recently ran into one girl (now woman) who was one of those foster children that got into that revolving door pattern. She would be home, removed, placed with my parents, after a few months back home for a few months, over and over. She did pretty well with my folks, usually kinda rocky start but after a couple weeks she straightened out, did well there, in school, my mom would take her to church and the girl did great. Then, back home, and repeat, over and over. Now that she is an adult, that pattern continues, she has married and divorced the same guy 3 times, he was mentally/verbally abusive and apparently did slap her once or twice. After the last time she divorced him she met a guy, married him pretty quickly, and, almost as quickly divorced him because he was like the first man she had married repeatedly. After that, she has been married a couple more times and had several boy friends that based on what she told me, are all similar to her father, a couple of her mom’s boyfriends and all of her ex husbands and ex boyfriends. A couple of those guys just left, no explanation, but she said they had become extremely critical and were much more verbally abusive for a couple weeks, then both times she came home from work and they were gone, taking all of their things and some of hers. She admits that she seems to go right back to the same type of guy. She said they all seem really nice at first, very attentive, give lots of gifts and do a lot to make her feel important, then after a while they start saying things that are sort of compliments, but sort of criticism. One often told her she looked okay in a certain outfit, but really thought she looked better wearing a different outfit a few days earlier. No longer did they compliment, but always gave slight complement followed by the comment that negated it. After a while, the complements stopped but criticism continued. Eventually, they would all get mad about something and become very hateful and mean. Sometimes something she did, sometimes something someone else did, at times all it required was someone else looking at her in some way they did not like, but she always had to deal with their anger. Then, she would realize that they were like the others and get out of the situation. She did say while she understands they are alike and she could see that when she looked back, but for some reason she couldn’t see it at the time. I mentioned that perhaps moving so quickly from one relationship to another, the short dating periods before moving in together or getting married had not given her enough time to get to know the guys and that perhaps she would do well not to jump into a relationship so quickly in the future. I also suggested that she may want to consider actually taking 6 months or a year, longer if needed, to actually get herself taken care of as far as getting right with God, getting any needed counseling and actually learning about herself so she could make better decisions in the future. I told her I would pray for her and for the Lord to work in her life.

The same thing repeated itself often, the kids being in a situation, taken out, returned then after they grew up, they would over and over do the same thing. Out of one bad relationship straight into another. Just like they learned growing up. So sad and my mother saw it happen and it would break her heart. She would always put a lot of effort into helping the children when they were in her house, then see them go back and forth eventually as adults, repeating the cycle. It frustrated her to try so hard to help them, but hours and hours of time, often spending much more than the state paid for the children to be there, costing her and my father effort, time, money and then see it all just be for naught when the children grew up and continued that behavior. Although, there were times, very few, of the children that it did benefit and they have had pretty good lives. Yeah, they carry baggage from their childhood, but ended up doing pretty well as adults. Those were rewarding to see for them.

I once asked her why invest so much time, effort and money into the kids when she knows that a good portion would be right back in the same situation or continue with similar situations when they grew up? She said, “sometimes, you don’t see the impact, but I know I have a good impact on them and even if they do wrong for themselves, they will know the right choices and eventually, make that choice instead of the wrong one. They will remember they have the chance to make their lives better, no matter what, and then, one day, they will do just that and do what God wants them to do and stop living like they are, making the same bad choices over and over.”

That is how Christ is with us. He never gives up on us, no matter how much He has invested in us and how little return, He knows that it does make a difference, makes us better people for having known Him and that He planted a seed that will take root and grow when the conditions are right. He will not forget the seed and when they look for Him, they will find Him and He will be with them and not forsake them.

 

29 But if from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul.
30 When thou art in tribulation, and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the LORD thy God, and shalt be obedient unto his voice;
31 (For the LORD thy God is a merciful God;) he will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them. Deuteronomy 4:29-31

 

20 For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning.
21 For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them.
22 But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.  2 Peter 2:20-22

 

For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief. Proverbs 24:16

 

Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12

 For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off. Proverbs 23:18

 

15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.

Ephesians 5:15-17

 

5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

Proverbs 3:5-8

 

Heavenly Father, I ask You to help those people who are in situations where they repeatedly make the same mistakes, going from bad situation to bad situation. Give them understanding and the ability to discern so they avoid such problems in the future. I especially pray for those in physically or emotionally abusive relationships that you give them comfort, hope and protection. Deliver them from those problems.

I praise You Lord for all the work You have done in my life and I pray in Jesus Name that You continue the work to make me a worthy servant. I am so thankful for Your Mercy and the gift of Your Son who died for my sins and my salvation. Please draw those not saved to You so the may have life eternal and draw us all closer to be the Christians we should be.

Amen

 

I hope everyone has a fantastic day and that you can be a blessing to at least one person today. Thank you for your visit here today.

 

1 Comment »

  1. There is something to be said about childhood patterns compared to those same patterns as adults. It is up to us to decide to break those patterns. Some of which can not be done without the love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness that comes from a true encounter with Jesus Christ. Great post. Thank you!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s