Those that know me well, know that I don’t cry, that is not accurate, I do, when I have been through something very painful I have shed a few tears, loss of my parents for example, each time there was tremendous pain. And, while I shed some tears, it wasn’t as many as some others, it didn’t mean I wasn’t grieving, it is just that I don’t show grief with tears as much as many people do. There have been some times of extreme joy, birth of my children for an example of that, where there were just a few tears. Not that I was not overjoyed, but I just don’t cry a lot. For some reason, it has always been uncomfortable for me.
This morning I went to church, I was a few minutes late, they had already served communion but there were a few others, like me, who didn’t get there on time to whom they went ahead and served communion in the back of the church. I hadn’t partaken of communion for some time, so I took the opportunity to do so and as one man was praying, I thought hard about what communion is really about. I prayed silently to the Lord while the other man prayed. I took the bread, his body; I drank the wine, his blood and continued in my silent prayers. As I did so, tears started flowing, not a lot, but yeah, I was crying. I don’t have an explanation as far as being very sorrowful or extremely joyful, other than I felt Christ there. One gentleman asked if I had any needs at that time. Well, we all have needs, no one has a perfect life, but overall, things are pretty good for me now. Then, I thought, I have heard the song, “Help me Jesus” with the lyrics about wanting the healer, more than the healing. Well, I truly want to learn how to seek Him. So, I told the man that I wanted to be better at seeking the Lord. We prayed, the tears did not stop. It was song service and every song touched my heart so deeply. Some were old standards that I have heard more times than I can remember, but others were new to me. But, each and everyone just spoke to me in a way I can’t really explain. Those I had heard before, meant more than I remember them ever meaning. I heard something in the words I had never heard before. The tears continued. I wasn’t sobbing but the tears were flowing and oh, how I felt Jesus with me.
I wrote a couple blogs earlier this week, one about crossing a bridge and the other about he scores. Both contain descriptions of feeling Him give me an anointing. And, today, once again, the Holy Spirit gave me an anointing. I didn’t really go expecting that, I just went to get the chance to worship God, spend some time with the folks there and well, see whatever happened. I had no real thoughts or things that I was feeling a strong need for overall. Some things that have been there, still are and I have surrendered those things to Christ, so I am not worrying about them. He will deal with all things I have given to Him. But, wow, what a blessing I received. The tears stopped for a little bit, then, the pastor started to preach and surprisingly, his sermon was on Acts 2, the day of Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit poured out His anointing on those in the upper room that day. God has a plan, God worked on me a couple mornings earlier in the week, He laid it on the heart of the pastor to preach on that topic today. After a few minutes, the tears started again. I have almost always been able to hold off crying if I really wanted to, or at least keep it to a minimum. But today, I couldn’t have and really did not want to do that. So, the tears flowed. The feelings I had were of full and complete peace, I felt hot and cold, weak and strong, all at the same time. Other feelings that I can’t explain other than things that would normally be polar opposites, completely different, but I felt them all. No words to explain it. I felt no words well up inside me to which I should give utterance, I prayed silently to God. Praised and worshipped God, Christ Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I felt, just like it is described in the Bible, pressed down and shaken together.
Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again. Luke 6:38
1 And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place.
2 And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting.
I don’t know what giving I did to deserve the blessing I received today, but it was running over.
I worship and praise You Lord. I thank You for Your mercies and kindness. I thank You for the blessing I received today. I pray You keep that fired burning in my heart to better serve You.
It was just an amazing morning and wanted to share.