Today at work I walked into the area for some of the “Big Shots” as I needed to speak to one of them. Just as I entered the area, the soldier, lets call her SGT Sally, loudly said, “STOP CALLING ME!” and slammed down the phone. Then she made one of those growl, moan, sigh sounds, you know, combination angry, frustrated, annoyed all together. Well, before I could say anything, she says “Sir, can I ask you a question?” For some reason, people have very often felt they can talk to me about things that they may not talk to others about. Maybe my job, maybe something about me, but for some reason, they feel comfortable talking to me about what sometimes is for me, awkward issues. Well, I told her yes, because obviously she needed to talk with someone and, since I am trying to be a blessing to at least one other person every day, I figured this might be the right time. So, I sat down by her desk and she started telling me all about it.
“That was my ex-fiancé. We dated a short time, were engaged for a few months and several months ago I broke it off, because I started getting some bad feelings about it. He was pushing, from the day he asked me, to get married soon. He was trying to get me to go to the courthouse to get married a week after he bought my engagement ring. I wanted to take a little more time to get to know him better. He started getting pushier and pushier about setting a date, and getting married. Not just setting a date and preparing, he was in a huge rush. That made me nervous. The longer I waited, the more he pushed, got hateful about it and everything. When I tried to get him to talk about things, he would say nothing. Finally, I knew that it was not right so I told him that was it, broke it off. When I did, he started sending flowers at least 3 times a week and calling several times a day. I stopped answering, he’d leave messages, some begging me to take him back, some kind of mean. I blocked his number on my cell phone, but he used someone else’s and started again. That went on for almost a month after we broke up. Then, it would only happen maybe a couple times a month. Last week he started calling again. I didn’t recognize the number the first time, so I answered. He kept saying the same stuff. Then, the next message was saying he called to tell me about how things are for him. I blocked that number, then a couple more times I got calls from different numbers but didn’t answer, he left messages that were hateful, or asking me to reconsider to saying how he just wanted to let me know how he was now. Today, he has called me at work 4 times already (it wasn’t even noon) and these phones don’t have caller ID so I have to answer. If it is him, I hang up. I heard from friends that he was engaged again already so I don’t know why he is calling now to ask me to take him back. I don’t know what to do, when he isn’t like this, he is not a bad guy, but he just will do stuff like that. I don’t have the money to get a restraining order, but he is kind of making me concerned. He never hurt me physically, hollered and was hateful if he got mad, then acted like all was fine. Do you have any ideas?” During the conversation there were a lot more details she shared, but they don’t really alter the circumstances she was now facing, but were reasons she broke up with him. She then said, “I wish I could tell the girl he’s engaged to now but….” and paused. I finished for her, “but, she wouldn’t believe you and if she asked him he would say you are the crazy ex.” She nodded her head.
Well, I asked who ended the relationship? It was her. And did she ever feel in physical danger around him? No, never felt in danger. GOOD. I told her that sometimes people in love get hurt, and say or do things that aren’t normally logical, but in an emotional state, they seem right to do. Call a lot, send flowers and such. But I really didn’t have anything more to add, other than to suggest she speak to the legal section personnel. There are legal folks, paralegals, in our building so I walked down there to see if they could talk to her and they could so as I left, I told her I would be praying about her situation. She said she would appreciate it and then I left her with the paralegal.
I truly did not have a good answer for her. People do a lot of things when they are in love and they don’t always make sense if you are not that person, in that situation. Love makes a person irrational at times. But in this case, with him trying to be engaged, yet asking her to take him back, well, that seems to be a significant issue. If he is going into a new relationship with thoughts of SGT Sally, then he is not committed to the new girl. If he wants SGT Sally as a back up, in case things don’t work out, that is another way he is not committed to the new relationship.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
I Corinthians 14:4-7
Here is a different translation.
“Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited, does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
In a way, this guy is being unfaithful to his new fiancé. If he is still so worried about his ex-fiancé, there are concerns.
Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint. Proverbs 25:19
AND, this next verse says a lot and I use that to remind me, when I don’t understand things, well, because like he says, who can know it?
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9
I will be praying for all 3, SGT Sally, her ex-fiancé and his current fiancé. They all have need of prayer.
I praise you and worship your Holy Name. I ask, in the name of Jesus that you help these three young people. All are having problems from things, and one may not be aware. Help them have comfort and find truth in things so that Your way happens for them. Spare all from as much hurt as possible. Protect my friend and the other young lay from physical and emotional harm. Help the young man deal with this emotional unfaithfulness whatever other issues he has that are causing him to try to do as he is to both of the girls. Draw them all to You. I pray for their salvation and Your forgiveness for them all.
I felt a heavy burden for this all these people.
Thanks, please, say a prayer for them all as well.