Sometimes, I feel lonely and totally alone in the world. I may or may not be around other people but still feel lonely and isolated. I know most everyone has probably had this same feeling at one time or another. I have commented before that I don’t believe myself to be different than others, so I have to believe that feeling is not a unique experience. I know that I am never truly alone as long as He is with me. And, the fantastic thing is He is ALWAYS with me. I need simply seek Christ in those times. I will talk on that last statement in a bit but first I feel that in order to better understand me I need to focus on the whys first, see how His word addresses things I do to create this perception of loneliness. Then how the Bible tells me to address the issues I create.
I began this blog as a way to help me learn to walk with Christ and to better understand myself and see how my way of thinking and behaving needs to change in order to improve my Christian life and by doing that I will improve my life and hopefully by learning about me as I seek Him I will become a better person. In order to do so I find that as I deal with emotions I feel at any given time, evaluating myself and looking to the scripture to help me know how to apply His lessons to my life.
Ok, so all that being said, I first have to ask myself, what examples of how why I may feel this way can I identify. I know that I often withhold myself from others, in fact, in one respect or another I do that with most people. I do this for a variety of reasons that I want to better understand in order to recalibrate my thinking and behavior. I withhold from others because of the relationship with those individuals doesn’t require full knowledge of my life. Coworkers for example don’t need to know all about me for us to work together towards the needs of the job. I am friendly enough with them all, some I consider to be friends, but I don’t interact with them outside work. Maybe because we don’t share outside interests or perhaps because they or I have too many other things in our personal lives to permit spending time together outside of the workplace. Sometimes because I just don’t care to do that because I want my professional life separate from my personal life. Now, in my personal life I often hold back on issues at work because a lot of people don’t care to hear those things. I know that there are other issues that make sharing with this or that person, because of the dynamics of our relationship, I don’t feel that they need to or should know all I have going on internally. This may be because some of my past experiences and memories are areas they can’t relate to because they haven’t experienced them. Experiences from war. Only those that have been there can even begin to comprehend and a lot that have been there don’t go through all I did. Some is because I tend to be a private person and don’t want people to really know me or interfere in some manner with my life. A lot of this lack of opening up is due to shame. I don’t want my kids to know about relationship issues between me and their mom, I don’t want people to see me as weak or a failure. There are many more reasons I can think of that I do this, I suspect many if not all of us are the same way. But, identifying the reasons is not enough. Many are valid reasons and need to continue, others I need to correct my behavior such that I should have no shame should they learn about them. Whether I openly share or if they just become aware. But, identifying the behavior is a small part of the learning. What does God say about these things and how I should fix me. Mostly on how I seek to correct the loneliness to make myself feel less alone. If I focus on making me less lonely, do as He tells me to do, maybe I will open up more and be less lonely around others.
Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10
I need not fear the loneliness or be sad about it, if I remember He is with me. I am new enough at my walk with Christ that I sometimes forget, well, not forget but fail to do that. He has more on this as well.
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Further guidance to give my cares to Him and He will take care of them for me.
Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, [even] unto the end of the world. Amen. Matthew 28:20
And, again, Jesus reminds me that He is there so no reason for me to feel lonely. I really have to remember to seek Him in those times and He will comfort me. This is so easy sometimes, well at least in theory. Sometimes, all the miseries of the world interfere and I start feeling sorry for myself for many reasons: my parents are gone; my wife has other interests and doesn’t give me the attention I want or need; my kids are grown and busy with their own lives; other people I interact with don’t really care about me. The list can be endless and that kind of thinking that starts the process then leads worsening feelings, which lead to more thoughts that further worsen my attitude. How do I address that to better cope with the feelings when they occur?
Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none. Psalms 69:20
I have often looked to other people to make me feel less alone, David couldn’t find anyone to comfort him because he was doing as I have done, looked the wrong place for the comfort. I must seek Christ to have the comfort I want and need.
And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; John 14:16
I think the verses I quoted summarize pretty well how I should approach things when I am feeling alone. Time to pray on it for a time and give those feelings to God so He may comfort me. But, one passage I was required to learn as a child often relates to a lot of the things I face.
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
He is my comforter and He will lead me in His path and protect me from; evil, fear, loneliness, harm. God will give me peace and comfort. He will bless me more than I can contain.
I praise Him for what He is, for what He has done and what He will do in my life. I must only remember to look to Him, in good times and in bad. Too often have I failed to do so. I think it’s time for me to do some personal talking to Jesus about all these things.
I thank those who have visited my blog, please share if you feel there are others that may benefit. And, again ask if you have suggestions to help me improve this let me know, I am new to this so I have a lot to learn on it.
I pray Lord that you continue to help me in my growth in You. That I take to heart what lessons I am learning and apply them to my daily walk. I pray you watch over my family and speak to their hearts to bring them closer to you. I pray that others out there that may be having similar feelings of loneliness give their cares to you to get the comfort and peace you provide.